“This column is dedicated to beloved and optimistic friends who are experiencing a weakened moment. Take strength for yourself, don’t wait for someone else to give it to you. Fill your lungs with fresh air, go out into the world and collect small and good moments”
Published on: 6.3.23 00:36
Many times I am asked “What is ‘good and beautiful’? And how is it that everything with you is always good and beautiful? And why do you take our eyes out with all the beautiful pictures you upload?”. so no. Not everything is good and beautiful, there is a lot of bad and ugly in the world, but I’m not ready to give in and let it take over my life.
14 years ago I started writing my blog “Tov and Yapa”, which swept away thousands of readers and took me on a journey that never stopped surprising me. Good and beautiful are the choice I make in the world, to look for the positive, even if it hides or disappears from my sight.
Here is my shenkel on how to deal with the bad in life, and if I was able to pass it on to others as well, the profit is all mine: seeing what is not good and what is not beautiful is easy. It is even natural to fall and sink. Gravity naturally pulls there, physically but also mentally. Mental gravity does not help or promote anywhere good, therefore it is worth making an effort and “growing” muscles in order to fight it, in order to repel it.
My world view is based on a series of facts. The first – there is plenty of shit in the world. The second fact – I can do things to try to avoid contact with him, or at least reduce points of friction. The third fact – I must create a counter, resistance, by introducing positive content into my life, things that lift me from sinking and fill me with hope and strength.
I am not a person for whom only good things happen. I choose to cope by looking for beauty in the world. I have sensitive and skilled eyes, which I have taught them to creatively and even persistently search for what makes my heart feel good. I discovered that the place where I invest is the place that also yields. That is, when I look for good, it allows me to find it, even in very challenging times. Sometimes the situation is so depressing that even the most optimistic people around me cannot lift themselves from negative thoughts. Sometimes I can’t see the good either.
At times like this, I “activate muscles”, roll up my sleeves and put my hands deep into the shit and the pain. My hands search for a grain of light in the blackness. I look for the smile that hides in the stench and I don’t let go until I find it.
how? First, I try to laugh at the bad, with the aim of making light of it and reducing its importance. When I was a girl I was cynical and harsh, today I no longer hide behind the cynicism (although it is sometimes tempting), but try to look at the simple truth and even when it is bitter, smile at it. To tell her “wait, this is not the last word, but a temporary situation, which I will not submit to”. And where does this arrogance of insubordination come from? Where does the strength come from to repel the shit? My powers come from charges I’ve accumulated. From pleasant memories, from significant experiences and pictures of happy and beautiful moments. Together they accumulate and become a critical mass, one that can provide a counter to all the evil I am facing and also to the evil that is yet to come.
Second, when I photograph, I capture beauty and store it as ammunition for days of struggle. On days when the future looks bleak, I dive into my “highlights”, in the photo album. There are 57,917 photos of significant beauty, one that reminds me of how good it was and allows me to fantasize about the good that is yet to come. People are the most important resource in the world and they influence me, whether I like it or not. Some people weaken me and some people strengthen me. At any given moment I try to surround myself with those who share my vision, who seek and find optimism.
One last thing, I stay away from black people, “downers”, and I am attracted to optimistic people, “upers”, and we hold each other and pull each other up. Everyone has weak moments, but with shared responsibility, we raise and not lower.
This column is dedicated to beloved and optimistic friends, who are experiencing a weakened moment. I remind you that this morning begins a new day. Take strength for yourself, don’t wait for someone else to give it to you. Fill your lungs with fresh air, go out into the world and collect small and good moments. A small smile and another small smile add up to a critical mass in the end. Don’t let anyone rob you of the opportunity to live a good and meaningful life.
In conclusion, I will put here insights I received from Beti Nega, when she was 6 years old.
Nega: “Mom, how lucky is there to be bad in life?!”.
I am:
Nega: “Because if it wasn’t bad, how would we know it was good?!”.
So don’t wait for a good day, get up, roll up your mental sleeves and make it one.
The writer is a fashion designer, entrepreneur and content creator in the lifestyle field; Owner of Karen Shavit Lifestyle Gallery in the lower city