Not receiving a maternity visit for a few days after a heavy delivery: sounds like a great idea, but not everyone agrees with that.
Milou (27), mother of Liv (7 weeks):
“After Liv was born in the hospital after a violent and painful birth, we were allowed to go home after two days. We decided not to receive a maternity visit during the weekend and to start off with the family. That was very much against the wishes of my mother-in-law, who had become a grandmother for the first time.
Cozy maternity visit
She came for a maternity visit on Monday and after fifteen minutes with our daughter in her arms, she burst out. Annoyed, she let it be known that she really didn’t think it was possible that she was not allowed to come by on Sunday. I tried to explain it three times, but she kept saying she didn’t understand.
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I started to cry and she started to cry even harder, because ‘she was the bogeyman now’. In the end I ran away for a while and when I came back, my mother-in-law wanted to give me a hug, but because I was still high in my emotions, I didn’t want that. I said, “It’s all right, but I’d rather not now.”
This made her fall hysterically into her chair and start screaming: she hadn’t expected all this from me, what was I doing—she went on and on. Then she angrily got into her car. An intense experience and a damper in my maternity week.
She later came back, but never apologized. I think it’s more important for her to become a grandmother than us parents.”
This article can be found in Kek Mama 06-2022.
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