How stupid are cakes that look like other food
is it a bird No! is it a plane No! Oh, it’s a cake, Kusemek. And not only is this unbearable trend sick of Instagram, it’s now been replicated in real life, and we don’t like it. We laughed and laughed at “Is It Cake” on Netflix, but the joke is on us. Or in our case, the whole dick. Why would we want to eat something that doesn’t look like the thing we wanted to eat? Why do we have to cut a shoe to enjoy a slice of cake? And who even asked for a Belgian waffle in the shape of genitals?
You are welcome to push it to you already know where. Crazy Bunny’s waffle (photo: from Instagram)
How stupid are meals from the books/movies
By the time we got used to concept meals as a general idea, now we have to get used to the specifics of some 19th century writer who just liked the word “porridge”. It may sound like brilliance, but in practice the result usually amounts to a whole that is less than the sum of its parts. Maybe instead of forcing external ideas into mediocre meals, try serving delicious food and that? After that tell us as much as you want about which book you liked to read.
Is this also a meal you want to recreate? Eating by human hands in “Atlanta”. Screenshot
What a fool it is that in every corner there is schnitzel-eggplant-from a kitchen in challah
Okay, take a breath. We have no problem with the dish itself – it is undoubtedly delicious. But my God, in how many different variations do you already want it? Oh, does every place that makes this dish actually make it exactly the same? So someone please explain to us why we need 80 such places, and then prepare something else for us.
Thin schnitzel, soft challah. “Challa” (Photo: Shlomi Yosef)
What a fool this table of abundance
Concentrated disgust. Unfathomable quantities of food in the most unbearable form of serving – let’s throw everything on the table like animals, arrange it as if it were beautiful so that the Instagram photo will explode with exaggeration and be appetizing. Yak. Beyond the sickly decadent act, after that everyone shoves their hands into every corner until the place looks like a murder scene, bloody sauces on the floor, random pieces of meat mourning the death of their friends, slaughtered patrons with shoe marks on the floor. Those who really love food would never do such a crime to him.
How stupid is the volume in restaurants
Khals, we got the point. If you want to make an overflow of senses that will hide the flavors of the food, we already prefer that you remove our eyes. People come to a restaurant to sit, dine and enjoy with the people they came with, or at least to get to know others. Music at an interrupted volume does not make it possible to do that, and regarding restaurants that claim to have an “atmosphere”, let us borrow a phrase that is commonly said among radio people – happy in the studio, sad at home.
Loud not only in music. Mesa (Photo: Ofer Ran)
What a moron it is strange toppings in pita
Sir, this is a cigar. What is he doing in pita? Who put her there? Come on, everything has a place in life, and a cigar has no place in a pita. Please improve.
Everything is perfect, except for one thing that stands out. Tomer Thomas in pita (photo: David Moyal)
Pop-ups are stupid
Another fundamentally good idea that quickly turned out to be an idiotic concept – let’s go to a restaurant, but it is unprofessional, inexperienced, busier than usual and if at best you really enjoy the experience, then it will also disappear in a moment. Obviously, this is a necessity born of the current crisis in the restaurant scene, but it is undoubtedly the most stale habit that remains. What is it, we now have to hunt our next meal? Why is a place we read about a second ago no longer available? Where’s Gertie’s doner? Off with you, just decide where and when you sell food, we’ll come. Even so, we have abandonment anxieties.
where did you go where Gertie and the Dwarf (Photo: Jacob Blumenthal)
How stupid is yogurt in every dish
Until twenty years ago, Tel Aviv was the capital of frozen yogurt. We must have compromised. For a reason that until now is not entirely clear to us – perhaps an attempt to be “sophisticated”, to transmit a luxurious, “Mediterranean” style or just to jump above the navel – in recent years every chef thinks he is reinventing the yogurt stone, and incorporates sour milk into his dish. There are dishes where it works and is even requested, but in every dish? Why? Maybe try using other products that you forgot about. No, not tahina, stay away from the tahina hahaha.
Yogurt soup. Photography: Lin Levy
What a moron it is excessive American toppings on hamburger and pizza
Enough already, we get it, you want to be trash, radiate color and take a perfect picture for Instagram, but not every hamburger will benefit from the addition of a whole onion challah and this pizza will do better without a kilo of meat pulled apart in whiskey sauce. Khals, Omar Miller did it six years ago, and even then it was too much. And kick your repulsive mac and cheese out of our food (if anything, first let there be a normal mac and cheese dish in this city, then we’ll think about it as a side dish, that should be the order of things).
Pizza Hut’s mac and cheese pizza (photo: PR)
Oh, and what a moron is a Mediterranean version
No, we don’t want tahini and amaba with pine nuts and shashuka on our tacos, thanks.
What is? Who asked for all this? “Yinelah Oalamburger”. the brothers Photography: Adi Foa and Inbal Korman
And for dessert, how stupid is ice cream with “special” flavors
Not all foods are created equal. Yes, it’s pretty obvious that they’re trying to reinvent the wheel, and in today’s competitive market, the weirdo gets all the PR (and yes, we’re guilty of that too sometimes), but humanity didn’t need Bulgarian cheese ice cream, nobody wants frozen soup almonds, and please, if possible , this trend really should die down before someone here makes Amba ice cream. Yes Golda, we’re looking at you.
A fateful meeting. Ice cream and almond soup. Photo: Shutterstock