Eduard Fernández: «I don’t feel that I have to heal a wound through theatre»

Eduard Fernández has, at the foot of the house where he lives in Madrid, the green and gray haven of Parque del Oeste, an oasis of calm in the unbridled reality of the capital. Some of that calmness seems to have infected him… at least in appearance, because he does not hesitate to admit, while he smokes one cigarette after another, without finishing any, that he is ‘shit’ before the imminent premiere of his new theatrical project: ‘All the love songs ‘, a monologue by the Argentinean Santiago Loza that, directed by Andrés Lima, will be released tomorrow at the Teatro Calderón in Valladolid. The production will arrive on the 27th at the Teatros del Canal in Madrid and will begin its tour throughout Spain. It is not another work. It is a farewell, a tribute to his mother, who died in Barcelona during the pandemic, and to whom the actor (who somehow plays her on stage) was unable to say goodbye. It had been five years since he had been on stage. The last thing I did was ‘A View from a Bridge’, by Arthur Miller… Five years ago? Well yes, since then I haven’t been on stage. What respect it gives me! And what vertigo! Doing theater is a necessity? Yes. As an actor, it involves discipline, putting yourself to the test… That’s not why I do it; I do it out of desire, really. Now, as the premiere approaches, one would run in the opposite direction, which is also typical of the trade. It’s not a phrase, it’s real, no matter how much they tell you it’s normal to be like this. It will be as normal as you want, but I would really run away. They are two contradictory feelings. Can you conceive of an actor who does not do theater? Yes Yes. There are very good actors who don’t do theater and nothing happens. I have been accepting octopus as a pet for many years. Therefore, I accept everything. Eduard Fernández, in ‘Todas las canciones de amor’ Laura Ortega ‘Todas las canciones de amor’ is more than a play for you… There is a lot of personal and emotional content inside, so the vertigo is greater in that sense . Out of respect for my mother. Then one thinks about it and has to relativize it; to think that if you don’t do it as well as you want, nothing happens either. What happens is that when you are up there, on stage, you want to be in full. And now I’m right there. Before launching, there is a kind of internal movement, with the pieces being placed… And you have to go through that process for something to happen. And we journalists come to hinder. Sometimes I feel like an intruder… And somehow it is… But no, not in the way… Over the years you learn that there are many hours in the day and there is time for everything. It is true that I am in a delicate moment and I have to think that even if I do interviews I do not have to leave that fragile place in which I am. Is that how it feels, fragile? Yes. This character is fragile too. It is a journey to death, to nothing and to everything, to light, to darkness… It is the journey of this woman who is leaving the world, who is losing her memory, her notion of things, who it has a lot of whites. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me…” -she softens her voice and enters into character-. ‘I wanted to do a monologue. Don’t ask me why, even if your job is to ask. I suppose because of personal and professional career. And why did you decide to do it? Well I do not know. I wanted to do a monologue. Don’t ask me why, even if your job is to ask. I guess for personal and professional career. Later, when you face him, you think if it wouldn’t be better to do a work of two or three, because you’re alone… -laughs- But yes, I wanted to… It’s not testing myself, no. It’s being there, alone, to see what happens. Something very essential. Professionally I feel like it… And I happened to see a work by Santiago Loza in Buenos Aires, interpreted by Luis Machín… Now I think: let Luis Machín come up, for God’s sake, he will do very well. Then my mother died and one thing came together with the other; I was here when my mother died, during the pandemic, and I couldn’t go to Barcelona to say goodbye. He has something of parting from her, yes. But it is better not to load the inks emotionally in that sense, but to take the right measure to be able to act. Is that the biggest challenge, keeping excess emotion at bay? Yes, and I think that will be there, that I have an age and a profession on top of me, tables, to measure that emotion and that it does not overflow me, because it is not good either. I think that will be; It is one of the things that must be measured. I’ll tell him. But in principle I think so. Has Santiago Loza adapted the text for this production? He has added something, my own experiences, because the character is a woman who talks a lot about her son. There are things that are very similar to my relationship with my mother… It is an already written text; the son is gay, and I am not. But the relationship, the most important and deepest, is very similar to the one I had with my mother, which was very close… for better and for worse; very symbiotic, a psychologist would say. I have changed the name of the son’s character, whose name is Eduardo; that of the husband, whose name is Jesus, like my father, and he paints – that has been added by the author -, and there are some paintings of my father. She is a woman who has an excessive love for her son… There are other things that we have added; she has flat feet, that she had trouble walking, that she peed until she was very old, that she was very sensitive, that she was very fragile… All of that is added. In a way I’m talking about myself through this woman I’m playing. I think the mix is ​​nice. There’s a moment, towards the end, where he says: «Right now, Eduardo will be thinking of me»… And he’s beautiful, because that’s what really happens. Many actors -and authors- talk about the therapeutic value of the theater… -No, I have my mother’s thing well settled. Yes, there is something to pay her a last tribute, since I could not say goodbye to her, and I say goodbye to her like this. But I don’t feel like she has to heal a wound through this. I don’t think, I don’t know if it would be good. In any case, I don’t feel that way. Now we make maps of everything and put words to everything. Therapeutic is living. One thing is the thought and another the scenario. You have to see if it works or not. It is all very fragile, very subtle, very elusive. And all our effort is to achieve, which I have ever achieved, to reach that particular place where you see that everything flows. He has said that he was scared. What scares you the most? -Not finding the way, not finding… It’s difficult to name it… Lluís Pasqual always told me that you had to try things during rehearsals… I mean that one thing is the thought and another the stage. You have to see if it works or not. It is all very fragile, very subtle, very elusive. And all our effort is to achieve, that I have ever achieved, to reach that particular place where you see that everything flows. You have to achieve that, what happens or doesn’t happen, and I don’t know how to name it much more. With the years and the professional category that is reached, the responsibility grows, right? I try to take all that shit off and do what I have to do. It’s already enough work to put more weight on. It is true that a lot of tickets are being sold and that makes you a little more dizzy, but at the same time, if you go out and there are twelve people, it gives you a bit of a downer. An actor likes to have a full stall. I don’t know how I’m going to manage all that, sir, but here we are. Have you ever regretted doing this? Not! I have regretted doing this or that work, or this or that movie. Well, not sorry… Because if the checking account is low, you have to work, and I work on this. Sometimes you do say: what a pity! I have several nameless movies. I don’t know, it seems to me that an immaculate career has something false about it.