Almost five years ago I had an anxiety attack. It happened on the way to Los Angeles, on a work flight. Up until that point, I really loved flying: from Tel Aviv to visiting a foreign country. Everything was pleasant and even festive. Duty Free, the sleeve that leads to the plane with pictures of exotic places around, the endless conveyor belts, the miniature food on a tray that is devoured until there is no bite left of the bun and the experience of meeting a person A newbie in the seat next to you who becomes a friend, reluctantly, at least for a few hours.
Afraid on the plane? You are not alone: the flight attendants’ guide to overcoming flight anxiety
On that strange transatlantic flight everything went wrong. I was sitting in a seat with legroom next to a nice gentleman, we started chattering about ha and da, and then, out of nowhere, shortly before takeoff, Janna landed on me. The heart began to beat at a supersonic speed. Every beat was likened to a nuclear explosion. The taste in the mouth became strange, metallic. The left hand ached and tingled, and scripts about a suffocated world ran through my mind. It took me a few seconds to understand what happened to me and that it was not a cardiac event. I held back. I demanded restraint from myself, without success.
The wave continued. I called the flight attendant and asked her to inform the person in charge that I had to get off the jumbo. A nice man with a pleasant voice said that there is no possibility of turning back, because we are already on the route and the doors are closed and that they will take good care of me. Unfortunately, promises are different and reality is different.
The ascent was terrible. From the moment we took off I found myself struggling alone with crazy fears as the flight was long, crowded and difficult. In a flash of consciousness I remembered the bullets that I had equipped myself with ahead of time. Not for relaxation, for sleep. I was hoping they would help. Unfortunately it didn’t help. I took one. is nothing. Second ball. Nothing. Ten minutes after the third I fell into a coma. She was horrible and nightmarish. I woke up several times terrified.
After long hours I opened my eyes, after a flight attendant shook my shoulders. I was alone on the plane. Everyone went out. Through efforts and by a non-road, which I will not delve into now, I reached the district of Hafzi. The matter did not end there.
Days passed until I shook the monkey completely, even on the ground he accompanied me. Mainly in dark places: in the cinema, in a dark bar and at night. Since then, every flight, I equip myself with sedative pills. It worked great. The fear of flying came and went. With the help of the reinforcements he mostly walked.
Then everything seemed to fade away. Suddenly I no longer needed those relaxations and I started to enjoy the world of aviation, just like before. This week I boarded a Bezeq flight for work purposes. There were long lines in the field and pressure of passengers, and it didn’t bother me even a little. I was excited and happy for the adventure.
The flight was busy. I sat between two people in the back of the plane. Suddenly, out of nowhere, it lodged in my throat, like a snake. Unlike that time, I knew exactly what the story was: an anxiety attack. Why, where and how much? I didn’t understand, but it was there. Evil, deadly and spicy. No matter how much I told myself that everything was fine and that it was just a feeling, nothing helped.
With great embarrassment I approached the front of the plane again, I couldn’t believe it was happening again. I explained to the flight attendants that I had to breathe before take off. I prayed that a few breaths of air would settle the crisis. I inhaled and exhaled and returned to my place. After a short time I broke down, galloped to the entrance and asked to overlap. The flight attendant, who is very pleasant and reassuring (a member of the Fly Dubai airline company), said that it was possible and at the same time suggested that I try to transfer the departure to the business class and that maybe later he would calm down. I got.
It was hard to overcome the urge to cut insurance and on the other hand the feeling was that it was unprofessional to throw everything away. In business I tried to be positive, when inside I exploded. Flashes of thoughts of terrible disasters landed on me. I felt that I was buried between pieces of plastic. When the plane stabilized, I asked to upgrade my ticket for a few hundred dollars. Despite the comfort and friends around, in terms of feeling I was in hell. After much suffering we landed. End of suffering. And it still took some time before I got back to my senses. The truth is, it still hasn’t completely passed, and worst of all – next week. I’m on a flight again.