A year ago, Hayley and Josh planned a quick return to their own place. Instead, they’re still navigating life on her family’s farm, a situation that’s unexpectedly blossomed into a source of support and connection.
Unexpected Family Time: A Broadcaster’s Journey Back to Roots
Hayley, a former television personality, is finding unexpected joy in multigenerational living while balancing motherhood and career shifts.
- Hayley’s career has spanned television, radio, and even politics.
- A job in sales proved unsustainable alongside the demands of raising two young children.
- The family is currently living with Hayley’s parents while she seeks a better work-life balance.
- She and her husband are embracing the support of extended family and cherishing time with their children.
What does it mean to redefine “normal” when life throws a curveball? For Hayley, 45, and Josh, 35, it meant trading a quick move back to independence for a year-long stay at her parents’ farm with their sons, Raven, 3, and Kingston, 18 months old.
A: A desire for a better work-life balance after Hayley found that juggling a full-time sales job with childcare proved too challenging, leading her to prioritize family time and seek a more sustainable solution.
“It’s actually been a really beautiful thing for all of us living together,” Hayley shared. “The boys get this amazing time with their grandparents, and we’re surrounded by love and support.”
Hayley is no stranger to reinvention. Her career path has been anything but linear. She first gained recognition in 2006 as a dancer and later a judge on Dancing With The Stars. Before that, she was a professional snowboarder. She’s also held roles as a radio host on More FM, a presenter on Breakfast and The Crowd Goes Wild, and a sports reporter for 1News.
Even a foray into politics as a Green Party candidate in 2017 didn’t feel out of place for the adaptable personality. When she left TVNZ last year, she didn’t despair; she felt optimistic about the future. “I know it sounds a bit weird, but I actually like change,” she said. “I think it’s good for us.”
A new job in sales with a fleet management company initially seemed promising. However, the demands of the role, coupled with a lengthy commute and the responsibilities of motherhood, quickly became overwhelming. After careful consideration, Hayley made the difficult decision to resign. “It just wasn’t working for our family and I had to admit to myself I had a limit,” she explained. “I couldn’t actually do it. The boys were missing me, Josh and I were stressed out because everyone was so stretched, and we realized that to make it work, we’d have to put the boys in full-time daycare, with extra childcare around the edges. It just made absolutely no sense. It was like, ‘What’s the point?’”
Now, Josh has increased his work hours, and the family is continuing to live with Hayley’s parents, Robin and Murray, while she searches for a job that aligns with motherhood. While multigenerational living isn’t without its challenges, Hayley acknowledges the special moments it creates. “The boys’ relationship with my parents is a blessing,” she shared. “They go upstairs and open Nanny’s door every morning, and she has toys up there for them to play with. Kingston sits on Dad’s four-wheeler and waits for Poppa to take him for a joy ride. They’re just in their element here and I feel so, so grateful.”
Recently, Raven insisted on including his grandparents’ names on a Christmas trinket he was making at daycare, a gesture that filled Robin and Murray with pride. Hayley recalls, “He was the only one who had his grandparents included on it, and my mum and dad were so proud. It was super cute.”
This Christmas, December 23, the family plans to head to Taupō for a week, offering Hayley’s parents a well-deserved break. The nearby community of Hatepe holds special significance for Josh, who is of Ngāti Tūwharetoa and Ngāpuhi descent. “It’s where lots of his whānau are and where he feels most at home,” Hayley explained, adding that she has also grown to love the area and the joy it brings their sons to be surrounded by extended family.
At 3 years old, Raven is fully embracing the magic of the holidays, excitedly pointing out every Christmas tree they encounter. Hayley looks forward to watching her boys open their stockings on Christmas morning before joining the wider family at Josh’s sister’s home in Hatepe for a potluck lunch.
Last year, Hayley attempted to recreate her mother’s apricot balls, a Christmas tradition, but they weren’t a hit. “Josh was like, ‘What are these?!’ and I have to admit no one seemed that keen on them, except for Josh’s mum. She ate them, but I think she was trying to be nice. Maybe I’ll make a trifle this year,” she laughed.
Amidst the holiday cheer, Hayley and Josh will also take a quiet moment to bury the placentas of Raven and Kingston under the same tree at Hatepe where Frankie Tai is buried, their son who was stillborn in April 2020. Frankie remains a cherished part of their family story, openly shared with their sons. “I’m not sure how much they understand,” Hayley admits, “But we talk about our guardian angel Frankie and they definitely know how special he is.”
Hayley is exploring the joys and challenges of motherhood through her podcast, It’s Totally Fine, alongside Sharyn and Lana, brought together by Ric Salizzo. “We’re still finding our feet, but it’s been so fun and we’re getting great feedback,” she said. “We hope it’ll resonate with other women like us – mums who are paddling furiously beneath the water to keep everything going but insisting that everything’s totally fine! We want people to come away from an episode feeling like you do after a good catch-up and laugh with your friends.”
Looking ahead, Hayley is open to various possibilities, dreaming of creating a communal living village or food forest on her parents’ land, but remains open to returning to broadcasting if the right opportunity arises. “I don’t need a lot to be happy,” she enthuses. “As long as I have Josh and the boys, I’m good. We’re so lucky.” She added that watching Josh with their sons continues to strengthen their relationship, teaching her the importance of presence and letting go of overthinking.
“Life might feel uncertain at times, but it’s also full of joy and really, that’s what matters most.”
