Help! I sometimes find my child annoying: tips to deal with irritating behavior

Help! I sometimes find my child annoying: tips to deal with irritating behavior

2023-05-30 14:15:30

While they can still be sweet, most parents can also agree that their children can be quite annoying from time to time. That can lead to guilt in you, because it’s your child, right? What can you do about this feeling?

Yelling at each other in the supermarket or hanging on your leg so you don’t run away are not parents’ favorite moments. Being irritated now and then is not crazy at all; Are you sometimes angry with your partner?

Seek attention

Some children seem to have the art of asking for attention at just the wrong times: when you are busy with work or, for example, are just cooking. Your child wants your attention because he wants to be seen. That is one of the basic needs of a human being. If they don’t get attention or if you only listen with half an ear, he will (unconsciously) continue to demand attention. This is often seen as negative attention, while a child is sometimes not even aware of it.

Own feeling

Sometimes you might think: ‘Pff, he’s so annoying’, or ‘It seems to go much easier with other parents…’ That thought in turn causes a feeling of guilt, because as a parent you only want to love your child and not want to be fed up with his actions.

It is the actions of your child and not your child that is so annoying. Orthopedagogue Loes Waanders says to RTL News the following about it: “Know that this is just a thought. And thoughts are not the truth. Make a distinction between your child’s behaviour, so what you can experience as ‘annoying’, and your child as a person. These two things are separate from each other.”

The origin

As a parent, think about the origins of a thought like, “He’s annoying!” Usually it says something about your own feeling. For example, you can be extra tired or stressed and therefore higher in your emotion. That then determines nothing about the love for your child, but more about your reaction to your child and your own feelings. You can ask yourself what you can do yourself to respond more calmly to your child.


We are often already busy with the next thing on our list, so we are constantly busy in our heads. Because of that busyness in our heads, only something small needs to happen to cause you irritation. Orthopedagogue Waanders: “Then your child’s behavior at that moment is the trigger. You are tired, irritated and you see your child through dark glasses, which can easily cause negative thoughts. Often the feeling of guilt immediately arises afterwards. This is due to the automatic programming of our brain; after all, a good mother is not annoyed by her own child, is she?”

You may also be dealing with a personal trigger. This can happen if you are dealing with a certain situation or behavior of your child, for example if they start screaming or crying loudly. That situation can trigger a feeling from the past and make you react more fiercely than usual.


Through the guilt that you experience when you can’t stand your child for a while, your behavior also changes. You can overcompensate by buying extra toys for your child or you can start thinking badly about yourself and end up in a negative spiral. Feeling this way as a parent is normal and you can certainly avoid it. The most important thing is to relax and take care of yourself. In addition, you can also communicate with your child which behavior is or is not acceptable.

12 things teens find really annoying about their parents

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