Soldiers during a military operation (Photo: Beitar Illit Municipality Spokesperson)
Psychologist Uriel Blames, educational consultant and parent guide, SHPI guide for emergency and crisis situations and suicide prevention, and manager of the Resilience Operations Department at the Rescue Union, explains how to correctly deal with anxiety in children during a traumatic event such as the infiltration of terrorists into the city and an explosive device, as well as a shooting attack, such as The events that took place this evening (Thursday) in Beitar Illit and Tel Aviv.
“There is a clear element in the alarms,” Balmes explains, “First, a warning to the residents. Two: a deterrent to the terrorist. What is most important is to create an ventilated discourse with the children and create continuity. To find the anchors and strengths they have now.
“Parents, family, faith, prayer and keeping the instructions. It is worth finding together with them the advantages of an alarm that is designed to warn us against wandering.
“We all need reorganization in a crisis situation. And as parents, it’s our job to be a listening ear for them, to transmit a calm atmosphere and project faith to them.”
Detailed guide:
Order of actions for conducting a conversation with children following an emergency/disaster event and in cases where the information reached the children’s ears, or were exposed to him to one degree or another.
Children must be given information and an explanation that is reliable and adapted to their level of cognitive development about what happened. Do not use dramatic and overly detailed descriptions, but also do not hide information and ignore questions. It must be ensured that the information is updated according to developments.
The purpose of the conversation is to reduce tension, give the opportunity to express feelings and start giving messages of hope and expectation for a return to normality. It is important to legitimize the children’s reactions and feelings, and convey to them the message that these are normal reactions to an event that is not normal. Denial of danger and fear must be avoided.
It is possible to share the feelings and emotions of the adults with the children but in a controlled and considered manner and according to the circumstances.
It is important to emphasize the availability of the responsible and significant adults at home, and their willingness to help at any time.
It is right to create an atmosphere of partnership, of support and of a desire to help. must put the
The emphasis on encouraging solidarity, empathy, and family cohesion as an important support factor.
Pay attention to children or those who react in a particularly difficult way, externalization, extremism,
Withdrawal, avoidance…
Professionals should be helped if there is a worsening of the reactions.
Along with giving legitimacy to the expression of the feelings and fears that accompany the event and enable its processing, emphasis must be placed on the importance of the gradual return to routine, while reinforcing messages of faith, hope and expectation of a safe routine.
The course of the conversation:
Providing reliable and updated information:
Rumors must be refuted, accurate and up-to-date information must be given as much as possible at that moment, dramatization must be avoided
and promise that we will continue and update when there is more information.
Having a conversation about the event:
A. facts
Where did the news “grab” you? What do you know about what happened? who did you hear from what did you do when you heard
about what happened etc.
B.
A conversation about the thoughts, feelings and reactions:
A very charged and significant stage, you should pay attention to children with overreactions.
What thoughts have been going through your mind since then?
Or what is the hardest part for you about this event?
Or are these feelings/reactions continuing from then until now?
Reactions should be normalized and said that it is very natural that following such an event one feels this way… and these feelings gradually disappear over time…
third.
Strengthening coping and connecting to personal and environmental forces and anchors:
You should write down the forces and resources that come up.
What can help us overcome?
d.
A conversation about the importance of activity and action
It is worthwhile to switch to a creative activity through different and available means and especially adapted to age and time. Art, drama or music or any activity that may be a processing factor or facilitate the experience.
It is important to spend some time with the feelings.
After that, you can ask for ideas for action: “What should we do now so that we feel better?” What strengthens us in unpleasant moments?
God.
Summary:
It is important to allow room for further speech if necessary and encouragement to share feelings and emotions.
It is worth remembering:
What is most important is to create an ventilated conversation with the children and create continuity. To find the anchors and strengths they have during the crisis event.
Parents, family, faith, prayer and keeping the instructions.
It is right to find together with them the advantages of the fear mechanism which helps in keeping the rules of caution and is intended to warn us of dangers and bad situations.
We all need restructuring in a crisis situation. And as parents it is our job, to be their listening ear and anchor
The significant adults have a critical role in crisis management, the children examine us in these moments and expect to see our reactions.
And as they say “make lemonade out of lemons”, make the crisis event a formative and shaping event.
To give children strength and strengthen their resilience and mental fortitude.
We will always remember that the Land of Israel is “a land on which the eyes of the Lord your God are, from the beginning of the year to the end of the year”.