2024-09-03 20:00:13
Answering the question with a fixed number is not easy. Sex is a personal and varied experience, so what is right for one couple may not be right for another.
What is normal and abnormal in sex is not something that can be determined with absolute certainty. However, in conversation, it is common for us to ask ourselves how often we can expect to have sex.
How much is small? Do I have enough intimacy with my partner? Should we increase the frequency?
Although the answer is not easy, nor is there a statement that applies to everyone, it is reasonable to ask these questions. But before looking for a number, we must consider some questions.
What is the average amount of sex between couples?
Throughout history, many scientific studies have been conducted to determine the sexual frequency of humans. And although these numbers help to give us an idea, We must remember that these are data that show the proportions, but not the norm that must be fulfilled.
For example, among American couples who are married or in committed relationships, sex is reported an average of 1 to 2 times per week. Research conducted in Mexico match the same number.
Another study, conducted in 2015 by the Kinsey Institute, found that 34% of couples have sex several times a week, while 45% do so a few times a month. And you also have to consider age, from 20 years you can have about 80 sexual encounters per yearwhen 60 they are reduced to 20 annually.
How often do we have sex?
Survey numbers are not important. Nor should they be used as a universal standard of measurement for everyone.
When looking for and reading information about relationship frequency, it’s easy to get into the idea of a “magic number.” We can think that, if we don’t reach that amount that they say on the networks or blogs, we won’t be happy or we won’t have a healthy relationship.
However, the truth is that there is no such “magic number.” The frequency depends on several factors, although there are three that I would like to emphasize and they are as follows:
- Sexual compatibility: Each person has their own level of love. Some have a high libido, while others are satisfied with a low frequency of encounters. What is important is that both partners are comfortable with the amount of sexual activity they have and that their desires are compatible.
- Physical and mental health: Sexual desire is not constant. It can vary, due to stress, health status, hormonal changes and emotional experiences. Depression, anxiety and chronic illnesses can affect libido, as can external situations associated with work problems or family responsibilities.
- Relationship duration: At the beginning of a couple, passion is always more. This can lead to greater sexual frequency. Then, as the relationship progresses, the frequency will tend to stay, until the couple settles into a rhythm that fits their lives and responsibilities.
Is quality more important than quantity?
Sexual satisfaction is not measured by frequency alone. The quality of emotional connection and well-being between individuals is also important.
Instead of focusing on how often they should have sex, couples should ask themselves if they are enjoying and feeling emotionally connected in their sex life. Respect for others means understanding that there is not always mutual love. Maybe each member wants a different frequency, and that needs to be discussed.
The importance of communication
You always have to communicate with your partner to reach a consensus and realize your personal desires. There is no point in comparing yourself to extremes if there is no fluid discussion within the relationship.
Each couple is unique. What works for one may not work for another.
Some couples are happy having sex several times a day, while others may prefer once a week. Or even less is often enough.
The important thing is that you both are compatible in your wants and needs. Oftentimes, work, family responsibilities and stress affect the desire of the heart. But if we don’t prioritize time as a couple, we don’t talk to each other about what’s happening to us and we don’t find ways to work together to keep the relationship close, then both of us can be less happy.
Open communication is important. Let’s talk about wants, needs and concerns without judging the other to create an environment of trust and understanding.
Remember that it is normal for sexual needs to change over time. If you are on the same page with your partner, it will help you navigate the changes in a healthy way.
Life changes and you have to adapt to situations
Life is full of ups and downs. Therefore Sexual frequency can be affected by life eventssuch as the arrival of a child, a change in job or illness. The important thing is to find a way to adapt to find ways to maintain compatibility; especially when the frequency of meetings is reduced.
Furthermore, we must keep in mind that sexual timing is a very personal matter. You can’t measure it with a single standard.
I always emphasize that the important thing is not the frequency, but that there is a connection between what I want to experience sexually with my partner and what I experience. “Normal” is what works for each couple.
Instead of obsessing about quantity, it is preferable to focus on the quality of your sex life. To achieve self-satisfaction, the first tool is open communication.
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