How the gaydar helps queer people flirt

by time news


What signs tell you that the other person is gay, lesbian, bi or trans?
Image: Depositphotos

Before a queer flirt, there is the anxious question of whether the other desires as much as you do. Some people are helped by their intuition – the “Gaydar”. But risks remain.

ESomeone new has moved into the house. “I have the feeling that he’s gay,” says Philipp. How does he get it? “He held the door open for me and looked me in the eye longer,” says the 32-year-old. Why is that even important? Philipp lives in a rather middle-class area in Berlin. An apartment building where people don’t always greet each other when they meet in the hallway. It would be nice to know that there is someone else out there who is gay like him. Also a security, somehow.

Many queer people are like Philipp. Gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans people – they can all face the problem of wanting to find out whether the other person is also queer. Or having to find out. Because it’s not just about the search for a flirt, the possibility of dating. It’s often about finding other people who can give you a sense of belonging. A person who understands. But asking the direct question, “Are you queer too?” can be risky in a bar, at work, or on the subway. There is a risk of exposure or even violence.

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