2023-09-10 09:17:36
The dramas follow each other and resemble each other. A 15-year-old ended his life on Tuesday in Poissy, in the Yvelines. The first elements of the investigation “clearly attest that acts of harassment had been declared during the 2022-2023 school year”. And faced with this type of event, what can the student’s classmates do?
“When I ask a teenager who has had a suicidal crisis who he can turn to if it happens again, nine times out of ten, he cites a friend”, emphasizes Jean-Philippe Raynaud, professor of child psychiatry and the teenager and head of department at the University Hospital of Toulouse. If the responsibility should not rest on the comrades of a teenager in pain and that suicide is always multifactorial, they can nevertheless help. On World Suicide Prevention Day this Sunday, here’s how teens can support a friend who’s not doing well.
Trust each other
Rapid change in behavior and/or mood, isolation, difficulty projecting into the future are all signals that can raise suspicion. “If a friend no longer does the activities he liked, goes out less, gets angry with his friends, or even doesn’t want to talk to them anymore, you have to ask yourself questions,” explains Jean-Philippe Raynaud.
For Charles-Edouard Notredame, child and adolescent psychiatrist at the Lille University Hospital and deputy national coordinator of 3114, “it is not necessarily up to adolescents to know how to tell the difference between a simple malaise and a crisis. suicidal at their boyfriend’s house, because it’s a hell of a responsibility. According to him, the teenager must trust himself because he knows his friends and knows how to spot when one of them is not doing well. “Teenagers often know their friends’ problems better than their parents”, confirms the head of service at the Toulouse University Hospital.
Information that adults do not have
In addition, they would have access to information that adults do not necessarily have, such as messages via social networks. “If a young person says to his friend ‘we can do that this summer’ and the other replies, ‘we’ll see if I’m still there at that time’, for example, there, you have to worry” , illustrates Jean-Philippe Raynaud. Friends may also be aware of an act that has gone unnoticed by parents or other adults. A gesture that must be taken seriously because any suicide attempt increases the risk of suicide.
Note that these signals are not always easy to spot. “If you have a suspicion, a concern, it is better to talk about it because it can change the trajectory. But sometimes, unfortunately, the boyfriend does not show anything ”, wishes to remind the child psychiatrist.
Do not hesitate to talk about it
The two professionals encourage the adolescent who is spotting signals to speak. “It’s hard to say ‘you have to talk about it’. On the other hand, you should not hesitate to do so”, sums up Charles-Edouard Notredame. Contrary to popular belief, talking about suicidal thoughts never leads to the act, insists the doctor. If he feels capable, the teenager can therefore address the subject directly with his friend in pain.
“When the person is at the beginning of his suicidal crisis, he still manages to think clearly and receiving this attention can touch him,” says Jean-Philippe Raynaud. The idea is also to encourage the person in pain to speak to an adult, or even to consult a specialist.
Give this responsibility to an adult
But the middle school or high school student who is worried about his friend is also encouraged to ask for help. “The teenager in whom the boyfriend confided must not be left alone with his anxiety,” insists Jean-Philippe Raynaud. “The main thing is that an adult can be in the loop and take up his responsibility as an adult and then it’s up to him to talk to the right person about it”, underlines the head of department at the University Hospital of Lille.
The first concerned are the parents, but it is sometimes difficult to discuss the problem directly with them. “Children in pain are often afraid of hurting their parents or worrying them, but it is necessary to explain to them that it is the role of the parents and that they would suffer much more if something happened”, recalls Jean-Philippe Raynaud.
Being helped in turn
In National Education, many professionals can help, whether they are teachers, CPEs, nurses or school psychologists. “There are always competent people who will know what to do,” insists Jean-Philippe Raynaud. For out-of-school children (but not only), there is also a Maison des adolescents in each department or even 3114, the national suicide prevention number.
But sometimes talking about your friend’s suffering is too difficult. “You have to tell young people that if they can’t do it, it doesn’t matter,” tempers the professor of child and adolescent psychiatry. It’s not their fault. »
In addition, accompanying a friend who is suffering can generate deep discomfort. Studies show that being directly or indirectly exposed to a suicidal event increases the risk of having suicidal thoughts, or even of actually acting out. As a reminder, more than 300 young people aged 15 to 24 end their lives each year in France, according to Inserm.
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