2023-07-14 03:00:05
How to Support a Loved One with Depression: Advice from Experts
Dealing with a loved one who is depressed can be challenging, especially if you are unsure how to help them. In the book “Everything okay?” fourteen duos share their experiences with depression and offer valuable insights on supporting a loved one through their journey. According to psychologist Huub Buijssen, providing the right support is crucial, as the wrong approach can worsen the setback. Here are six tips from Buijssen and two experience experts on how to effectively support a loved one who is depressed.
1. Be understanding
Depression often leads to withdrawal, but it does not mean that the person wants to be alone. People with depression need understanding and support. Nils Elzenga, who experienced multiple episodes of depression, emphasizes the importance of having someone who was there for him during his difficult times. Simply being present and listening without judgment can make a significant difference.
2. Listen without judgment
Avoid giving unsolicited advice to someone who is depressed. It can trivialize their struggles and make them feel misunderstood. Instead, focus on listening attentively and without proposing solutions. Daya, Nils’ sister, learned this lesson while supporting her brother. Sometimes, just being there and lending an empathetic ear is the best support you can provide.
3. Don’t be too critical
Research shows that the lack of appropriate support from loved ones can contribute to relapses. Partners who offer unsolicited advice or react angrily can deepen the depression. It is crucial to understand that depression robs individuals of their willpower and that they require support to restart themselves. Avoid pushing or being critical, and instead provide a supportive and understanding environment.
4. Take the other person outside
Physical activity in the open air has been shown to have a positive effect on people with depression. Encourage your loved one to engage in outdoor activities, such as going for a walk in nature. However, it is essential not to force them and be patient. Pushing too hard may have the opposite effect and cause frustration.
5. Don’t ask: How are you?
Instead of the generic “How are you?” question, be more specific. Depression often leaves individuals feeling empty, so asking about their week or day can provide a more personal and meaningful conversation. Recognize that depression affects one’s emotions, and tailor your questions accordingly to show genuine interest.
6. Keep thinking about yourself
Taking care of yourself is crucial when supporting a loved one with depression. Just like putting on your oxygen mask first during an emergency on a plane, you need to ensure you are in top condition to effectively support your loved one. Remember that depression is not a permanent state, and by maintaining your well-being, you can provide the necessary energy and support for their recovery.
Source: Marianne Lamers, Allard de Witte, Rianne van der Molen, and Ditty Eimers’s book “Everything OK? In conversation about depression”
Read also
Discover more insights into depression and how to support loved ones by reading Marianne Lamers, Allard de Witte, Rianne van der Molen, and Ditty Eimers’s book “Everything OK? In conversation about depression”. Available for €22.50.
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