twelve o’clock, 24 March 2021 – 08:34
of Luisa Cavaliere
I have been waiting for the vaccine more or less since its arrival was announced with no little emphasis. The criteria for administration included frailty as an accelerator. And I, at over 70 years of frailty, not just physical, am well endowed. I’m not afraid of science. Rather. I prepare myself for a wait that will be short. I have many things to do.
I have been standing still for a year and I can’t wait to resume, hug, discuss looking in the eyes without mediation those who speak to me. Weeks go by, I impose total isolation. I appreciate its progress, full of opportunities for thought, of postponed readings, of desires that gather in the dreams of short nights. Isolation pushes me to live a time that only the sun and then the night mark and connote. Meanwhile, the merciless drama of vaccines is taking place “outside”. A Europe flooded with rhetoric reveals its cruel weaknesses.
Disorganization or excessive bureaucratization have little to do with it. The vaccine war is ignited and what in other times we would have called capitalism reveals its cynical face. Ruthless. “No, not that one because it’s dangerous.” Let’s withdraw it. Merkel asks for solidarity. Macron and Draghi are the side. Meanwhile, thousands of dead are bleeding and accusing. Deprived even of a consoling ceremony, of those that make bearable what is the atrocious limit of the human: death. The television transmits unrest. It accumulates news that does not produce knowledge, awareness. Slowly the wait is accompanied by fatigue.
Even though I know how much the former is responsible for today, I would like to go back to the very distant life of “yesterday”. I look and like me so many. Fear often undermines the present. I keep it at bay. We are all in this together. And this can be a consolation. I resort to antidotes and continue exhausted to wait for the vaccine.
A wait that is also loneliness. Hand-to-hand with that fragility that fails to be (and, perhaps, does not want) a privilege. It interrupts the thought, diverting it to human misery, forcing it to political cultural horror, the news of vaccines reserved for part of the regional executive group, the entire court of De Luca. All greased by the gentleman and the vaccine. Who knows how many Catholics and how many Catholics among them.
The warrior president of the Region had given the go-ahead who with an “exemplary” attitude had been vaccinated by doctors who were almost honored to touch the untouchable Lucan hero. Accomplices of a prevarication that ignores and despises my expectation and that of many others. Now the indecent show has had its second half. A humiliation that also affects those who, like me, are waiting for the vaccine.
De Luca’s court, fearless, gets vaccinated. He exercises a privilege granted by the leader, who saves his crew, those and those who could touch him. The image of the President of the Republic Sergio Mattarella, patient among patients, awaits his turn spontaneously comes to mind and heart, also giving meaning to my waiting. Not letting me take the indiscretion that is always seductive in these cases.
March 24, 2021 | 08:34