Do you feel as young/old as you are?
“That differs. I have Lyme disease, which often causes me to suffer from general malaise. Lyme causes me constant pain in my muscles. I can only walk short distances and can’t stand on my feet for long. I even have a disabled stool in my shower. So in that respect I sometimes feel like 80 years old. Mentally I feel super young. I had anorexia from age 15 to 25. I skipped a lot of my childhood because of this, which I am now catching up. When it comes to dating, for example, I’m a real late bloomer; I had my first kiss and sexual experience a lot later than my friends.”
When exactly did your eating disorder start?
“When I was 15 I was very insecure about my body. Like many teenagers, I was not feeling well and was extremely insecure. When a teacher said to me: ‘Gosh Danielle, you have gained a lot in a short time’, a switch went off in my mind. I had to lose weight. At that time, my father – who lived in America at the time – was dieting a lot. He followed a diet where he lost 10 kilos in 6 weeks. I decided to try it too and it worked. I did lose weight very quickly and got a huge kick out of it. In the end I passed.”
“I saw in the mirror that I had lost a lot of weight. I thought I didn’t look good, but I just couldn’t stop losing weight. It became an obsession, of which my surroundings knew nothing. An eating disorder is not recognized if you are still a healthy weight. It wasn’t until my weight dropped dramatically after I was 19 that people started to worry, but even in clinics you are only taken seriously if you are underweight. I find that problematic, because the eating disorder often starts much earlier.”
“I’ve had countless hospital admissions and after my 25th birthday I finally got over my illness. I don’t want to tell you what my weight was at my lowest point, because I don’t want others to compare themselves to me. I once read in a magazine that Sylvie Meis had a certain weight and then did everything to reach that weight. Fortunately, I am now at a healthy weight. Therapists told me that I would never fully recover from my eating disorder and that it would be something I would carry with me for the rest of my life. However, I am now firmly convinced that I will never relapse.”
Do you have a beauty secret?
“Not exactly, I am a huge fan of the self-tanners. I feel more comfortable in my own skin when I have a tan. I do my work remotely and that’s why I’m partly in Amsterdam and partly in the south of France, so these days I’m a little tanned anyway because of the French sun. I also think good skincare is very important. I have been more aware of this since I was 30. Fortunately, the French pharmacy has the best brands, so I’m experimenting with that now.”
What do you like best about yourself?
“My appearance and open attitude. I try to live without prejudice and I think I radiate that. Recently, friends told me that they thought it was so special that they had already told their entire life story in the first half hour that they met me, while they normally would never do that. I make myself vulnerable and because of that others automatically dare to be a lot more sensitive.”
“In appearance, I am most satisfied with my hands. My fingers look graceful and my nails are naturally very long. I usually get the most compliments about my hands.”
What are you less happy about?
“If I could change anything, it would be my Lyme. It’s something that greatly influences my life. It makes me sometimes feel less than the rest and can also make me insecure in the field of relationships. When I’m dating a guy I always think, ‘Just wait. It’s not going to be so easy if you have to live with me.’ I have always been very insecure about my small breasts. Fortunately, I now see the benefits of that: I don’t have to wear a bra and they don’t hang so quickly either.”
Are you where you wish you were?
“In part, I’m immensely grateful for the work I’m doing now. The fact that I have recovered from an eating disorder is already a big thing, but I think it’s even better that I can now help others with this. As far as my health is concerned, I still have many meters to go. Lyme still has a major impact on my daily life and I would like to see that changed. I will soon start with ozone therapy, I hope that this therapy will make me feel a little better.”
What keeps you young?
“Parties and beasts! I love going out and meeting new people. That’s why I date quite a lot at the moment. Meeting new people keeps you young and broadens your horizons.”
Do you have a life lesson?
“Recovering from an eating disorder is so worth it. You will never regret if you really give it a chance. The doomsday scenarios you might have in your head really don’t come true. You can’t die from anxiety, you can die from an eating disorder. The book Rehabilitate, Rewire, Recover! by Tabitha Farrar has helped me immensely in my recovery. Hopefully, other girls or boys who are struggling with an eating disorder will also benefit from this.”
Do you also want to be in this section? We are still looking for nice, female thirty-somethings. Also especially if you are 50, 60 or older. As long as you are comfortable in your own skin! Send an email with your name, telephone number, motivation and two current photos (portrait and total) to [email protected].