At the moment when I was sure there was no more, I first asked myself why this man loved me so much. Death wouldn’t have been such a problem if it was just the relationship between the director and the actor. Innocent lived in every fiber of my being. For two days there was the pain of getting too intimate with someone. A lost courage and a pillar to lean on. It is a dare that Innocent was anywhere at any time. If you call when you feel faint, all the faintness will go away without realizing it.
It was decided to bring a change in Innocent’s previous role in the movie Ponmutayidunna Thaarao. Hair cropped. After going to a wedding in the country while shooting, he said; Shame on you. Everywhere people were asking about the severed head. Even his wife Alice made fun of him. I said it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t matter when it becomes a character. Everyone said this while standing around. But he went and shaved his head and walked through the forest and returned; Then you will understand what is the problem. Innocent’s reply came like a bullet. Innocent had an answer for anything; and remedy.
Mohanlal and I had not done a film for 12 years. All the strife that had happened in the interim had changed. Innocent called from the location of the movie Udayon. The next film should be done with Sathyan and Lal. I have told him too. It was an order. Within two minutes, Lal called, followed by Anthony Perumbavoor. That is how the film Rasathanram was born. If Innocent decided then no one would be against it.
Innocent was always satisfied. I had learned to say that anything is enough. No amount of wealth could seduce him. The movie was not made by the way. Worked happily with the reward. Never lived to make crores. Even though he could have made a film after becoming a big actor, he did not do it. Feeling like I have enough in life is a big thing. Innocent had it all his life. It was only at the hospital that Innocent said, ‘Enough to live’. This has never been said before. When enough was enough, Innocent ended his life and left. That is the biggest lesson he taught me. He taught that everything should be satisfied.
One of the last films I acted in was my son Akhil’s ‘Pachuvum Adbhuta Valakum’. There was a live sound record. When I went to the set, I said: “Don’t be afraid; The little guy is smart. I am holding back the sound beforehand, thinking that I might be cheated during dubbing.
In all my stories there will be many characters narrated by Innocent. There are so many characters in that mind. Innocent acquired characters from everyone who lived in that country. Priyadarshan and I are surprised how this is. All those characters were told to me. Those were characters that only Innocent could do. With this, all those characters became orphans. They will no longer have life. I have lost someone who can tell me if the story in my mind is true. I will never have someone who calls me so much on my mobile. If you think about it, you don’t need a mobile anymore. It was for Innocent’s call that I kept it and kept it close to my head even at night.