Ken Duken is an actor, speaker and father of a teenage son. In the interview, he talks about his new radio play project, his own childhood and reveals what is important to him when it comes to education.
By Alexander Neb
In the radio play “When the murderer comes” you slip into the character of a Munich bartender. How was your experience when, as a young man after graduating from high school, you yourself stood behind the counter in a bar?
I liked this job because I was able to learn an awful lot about people and had so many different energies in front of me night after night: Some people were totally euphoric or extremely excited before the first date. There were people who would just sit at the bar and screw their way in drink after drink because they were going through a breakup.
So the perfect place to conduct character studies?
Once that and the bartender’s job is also a great school for life. I have learned to engage with all kinds of people, to listen and to be patient. And of course you also have to be a hobby psychologist. People have poured out their hearts to me over and over again. Even when it was packed – the ladies and gentlemen were usually full themselves.
Your well-known fellow actor Peter Kurth took on the second leading role in the radio play…
… and unfortunately we basically only stood together in front of the microphones for the promotion. Because of a postponement of shooting, I couldn’t come to the studio on the originally planned days.
So you recorded the big part of the radio play separately?
Exactly! Although I had the advantage that I could hear the parts of my colleagues beforehand because they were in the studio before me. That made a lot of things easier for me. Mainly because bartender Hendrik is a reactionary character. With a very active character who has to set pacing and timing, that would have been much more difficult.
What do you love most about your job?
For me, acting is the epitome of freedom. It allows me to explore different facets of my character and my soul and I’m also fortunate to be able to shoot in many beautiful parts of the world. On the other hand, I would like to make sure that I don’t work as much in the future. Because I have maybe five or six more years that my son will be at home and I want to waste as little of this precious time as possible.
Are you a very strict father?
I want to give my boy as much freedom as possible and get to know him; see how he reacts to life. Of course, I would also like to give him support and orientation, but not so much through my authority, but much more by clearly showing him that everything in life has consequences: It’s your decision – but then live with the consequences! This allows me, as a father, to keep myself out of the line of fire a little and still bring up my child very consistently without constantly having trouble with my son.
Do you want to give him certain values in life?
I believe that children’s eyes work much better than children’s ears. They see very well what their parents are doing and setting an example. And instead of verbally drumming values into my son, I prefer to try to set an example for him. Whether he can actually do anything with it is another matter.
What has particularly shaped you in your life so far?
That I got married at the age of 21 and so early found the woman I want to spend my life with and I still do to this day. Then of course there is the birth of my son and the very early knowledge that I wanted to be an actor.
Ken Duken and his wife Marisa Leonie Bach
© Imago Images
Very early means specifically?
That was already clear to me at the age of five. As a child, I had an extreme problem with authority and was therefore a great challenge for my parents and those around me. I found it incredibly difficult with statements like: “You can’t do that, you can’t do that, you don’t say that or you don’t do that!” When I realized that my mom was allowed to do almost anything as an actress on stage, I knew: I want that too!
Do you believe in predestination or is it very much in our hands?
For me there are two perspectives: either we read our book of life or we write it. Both are an option – and we should then do both consistently: If I have the feeling that I am reading my life, then I have to trust that the following pages contain what I want and what is right for me . And if I have the feeling that the next few pages of the book are still completely white, then I have to do everything I can to ensure that what I want is written on these pages. All roads lead to Rome! But if I choose to travel by river, I’d better leave the car at home.
Have you ever faced death in an extreme situation?
To be honest, not just once! Today, when I see the cliffs I snowboarded as a teenager, I think to myself what a blast I must have had back then. And I will definitely never again cross the street between two cars with a pram in front of me, away from the sidewalk.
For what reason?
I was a very young father in Berlin and when I was doing exactly that, a car suddenly came speeding up too fast and just missed the pram. The shock is still deep in my bones to this day. I keep waking up from a nightmare where my son and I weren’t so lucky.
How do you deal with the ambivalence of life?
I like ups and downs in life because the downs always bring me down and humble me. The lows allow me to appreciate it a lot more when I have highs.
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Does it sometimes annoy you how quickly the years go by, the older you get?
Personally, I like getting old. The experiences that I am making now in old age are much more positive than I had in my childhood or youth.
And how do you come to terms with the fact that we humans are all much more vulnerable and transient than we would like?
I’ve lost good friends over the past five years, and all of them at a young age. This made me very thoughtful and even more humble. Of course, I knew beforehand that none of us would get out of here alive. But should I wear myself down too often and lose my quality of life because of this? No, that’s not for me! I much prefer to enjoy what I have and am grateful for the time in the here and now.