Iraq: Women from families of missing persons never stop searching, never stop living

2023-09-03 09:45:00

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While families of missing persons have similar difficulties, each life story is unique. Hamda, 68, tells us about her missing husband, Ismael. Her strength and determination light up her face as she says, “I am tenacious; I buckled down and pulled together,” referring to the traditional image of buckled down to withstand the shock of a crisis.

HAMDA, the oldest woman in the accompaniment program. Layla MIRZAH/CICR

Hamda also finds the humorous side in life’s twists and turns. Her marriage had been arranged in the traditional way and, on the wedding day, her in-laws’ family brought her one of the wedding dresses that she had ever worn, did her makeup and did her hair. “God forgive you for not even taking me to a beauty salon!” she states, trying to sound a disgusted tone, but clearly holding back a laugh. She remembers her wedding day; When her husband was on his way to pick her up, her old car broke down and there was nothing for dinner. With a giggle, she remembers having to order a raw eggplant from her husband’s field, because she was starving. With the photograph of her husband in her hands, Hamda warns us, combining enthusiasm and humor, “don’t you dare imply that he is handsome, because I would miss him all over again.”

Hamda holds the photograph of her missing husband. Layla MIRZAH/CICR

According to Hamda, she was completely satisfied with her life before the conflict. Ismael worked in gardening and brought home his salary of 7,000 dinars a day. Together they raised Ali, Ismael’s nephew, who is now 25 years old. She longs for the moments shared, sitting together, seeing Ismael riding his bike to work and returning with groceries. Now, she gets up early every day, tends to the land, turns on the water pump, supports his family and says: “I keep fighting for my boy and our lives.” With uncertainty about the whereabouts and well-being of Ishmael and the other men, Hamda prays that they are alive or at peace. She has never missed a Companion Program session and is determined to pass on her perspective on life, resilience and support to others in similar circumstances.

Hamda and her sister-in-law Ilham. Layla Mirzah/CICR

There is no doubt that Asia, Hamda and all the other women who have missing loved ones have faced the unimaginable. Each of them has a different life, but one thing is certain: they are all driven by their undeniable resilience and the hope that their missing loved ones will return.