2023-05-25 16:35:34
“I had been extremely tired for months, sometimes I saw double. I had a burning pain in my arms and legs and a strange tingling sensation in my fingers. At first I thought it was because of the stress at work. But I also suffered from it during the holidays. My GP eventually referred me to a specialist.”
“During my first job interview, I didn’t have the results of those tests yet. My application went well and after two weeks I was allowed to come for a second interview. I had just the right experience for the job. They also liked the fact that I lived close by, because the working hours could sometimes vary. I was used to that. I have a long-term relationship and no children, so I am very free. They would let me know within a week if I was accepted. When they asked if everything had been discussed that way, I replied that it was all clear to me. But I didn’t tell them that I am chronically ill.
Two days before the second interview I had heard the results of the tests. The diagnosis was Multiple Sclerosis. A progressive disease, from which you cannot cure and which only gets worse over the years. At worst, I could even end up in a wheelchair. In fact, I could hardly comprehend it at the time. Hardly anyone around me knew it then, not even my parents. Just my boyfriend and my best friend. The first days I saw my entire future as one black hole.”
“I also thought I could forget about that new job. Nobody wants an employee who will be sick often and who will probably end up on disability benefits. But both my boyfriend and girlfriend thought it didn’t have to end there. They both thought that I shouldn’t say anything during the interview to get a fair chance. So that I could still show what I was worth, despite my illness. They presented good arguments. The prognosis is still very vague, but it is certain that I do not have the most aggressive form of MS. Maybe I can just keep functioning.
I wanted to leave the job I had anyway. Moreover, I would get an annual contract, so my new client could get rid of me if I was sick too often. I agreed with them then, but now I’m sorry. By not being honest, I immediately betrayed the trust of my new employers. And when it comes out – which it will, of course – I just have to hope that they will understand my actions. I got myself into quite a bit of trouble because I lied to my parents about this too. I came to them with good news and bad news. A serious illness, but also a new job.”
“My father immediately asked if that wouldn’t be a problem for my new employer. I answered no and immediately continued talking about the treatment of my illness. He then asked no further. What makes it even more difficult is that I have started a treatment program with the drug Interferon beta, which gives me flu-like symptoms – sometimes even with a fever. Over time, that should subside, but I’ve been quite sick a few times.
Twice I had to call in sick, the other times I kept myself afloat with paracetamol. I felt very guilty when one of my colleagues gave me tips to boost my resistance and came up with various homeopathic remedies. I could cry. If only it were that easy to cure. And if only I could be honest, because my lie is an extra heavy burden for me.”
Bron: Editorial flair
#future #black #hole