2024-09-03 06:43:20
With a small purchase to a large charity? 20 million Germans have already used a dating app. But the search can lead to real burnout. How to prevent this – and how to really succeed.
The smartphone is in one hand, the other opens the app. The look fell on a strange face. Only a few minutes pass before making a decision: Do I like this person – or not? Then you press through.
online dating is by no means a new phenomenon. 20 million Germans have used Tinder, Parship, Bumble and Co., like one Research by IT company Bitkom from 2022. Around 60 percent of them have already found one or more long-term relationships through online dating. The Bitkom study surveyed 1,005 people in Germany aged 16 and over.
Young people in particular often feel insecure about the many options when looking for a partner. Here is a study from India that was recently presented at a conference in Prague. More than half of the participants, mostly aged 18 to 30, said they were angry when looking for a partner – women more often than men.
According to researchers, the reasons may include edited photos and many options on the Internet. If you face manipulated images there every day, many people’s expectations of potential partners increase. Add to this the multitude of potential partners on dating apps and social media, reports the team led by Chayan Munshi from the Ethophilia Research Center in Santiniketan. Young people are often exposed to sexually suggestive content on social media. This also changes the reality and expectations of potential partners.
Wera Aretz, a couple therapist and psychologist at the Fresenius University of Applied Sciences in Cologne, warns of heart Dating Burnout. Constant anxiety and depression during online dating can lead to psychosomatic illness, he writes in the “Journal of Business and Media Psychology.” Although dating burnout is not an independent disease, it manifests itself in, among other things, emotional exhaustion, cynicism and reduced activity. An estimated 14 percent of dating platform users are affected.
Risk factors include the monotony of swiping across the screen repeatedly to meet the person you are interested in. Some people will read profiles for hours, write the same messages and end without a date. Ghosting, i.e. suddenly being ignored or blocked, is also a danger dating sleep Ghosting can happen to anyone – while texting or after a date. According to the study, those who have low self-esteem or fear of commitment are especially susceptible to dating burnout.
More effort, more stress
The whole thing is by no means satisfactory: “Online dating is never satisfactory,” says Johanna Degen, a sociologist and couples therapist in Flensburg. “Online dating is highly sexual and discriminatory. It’s hard to find people with disabilities on dating apps.”
Maybe that’s exactly why people want to show themselves at their best and to stand out from others, Degen said. But he warns: “The older I get, the more stressed I am because I’m facing this perfect version of myself as an identity and then when I’m I speak with each other’s frustration.”
Couples therapist Aretz also knows this personal optimization from her clients. Men cheated on their height, while women slimmed down their profile. The level of education is also cheating, and the fact that other people are really alone can also be a lie.
And apparently that’s not uncommon. Researchers from India see outThat even some people who are already in a committed relationship use dating platforms. Aretz says that dating and being in a relationship is not always bad. Under conditions, such as open relationships, such online dating can also be something positive. Or if you want to explore your sexuality together as a couple with a third person. But: “If you think that one partner does not know that the other partner is dating online, it can definitely lead to great anger,” says the psychologist.
Aretz sees a general benefit of finding a virtual partner in the fact that you can get to know potential partners even over long distances. online dating means that there are more couples with different cultural backgrounds. Social classes also play a smaller role.
“The biggest advantage is that we can come into contact with an incredible number of people very easily and profitably that we would not be able to contact on the way to study, to work or at the supermarket. And with people who have different social and cultural backgrounds,” said the thinker. “I can know people in India, Turkey, Greece – all over the world with one click.”
Paid apps are always more promising
And even if you have a persistent prejudice: On dating apps, people are not just looking for one-off sexual acquaintances – one-night will. Bitkom research shows that only six percent of users have sex as their goal. 71 percent long for a committed relationship.
Some couples therapists recommend paid apps to find your significant other – paid ones are more important. However, according to Aretz, sometimes it is better for young people to use free sites like Tinder or Okcupid because the target group is young.
Of course, everyone is different and has individual preferences for a partner. It’s important not to pretend and, for example, choose only the best pictures of yourself and list your best qualities, Aretz said. You only have to please those you love. In order to find the right person, you have to sort out everyone else with the help of your own truth: “To find the needle in the haystack, you have to burn the hay.”
stop/come
#partner #Online #dating #lead #burnout