2023-05-05 10:34:04
First of all, according to Kleijn, it is important to realize that this is a trick that your own head is playing with you.
Surrender
“We often overlook the fact that falling asleep is a natural process,” he says. “That just has to happen. You can’t really influence it. All you can do is lie down in bed. Falling asleep just happens naturally after that.” So the law of sleep is surrender, and let that be the exact opposite of how many people live.
Spanning
“We feel that we have to exert a lot of influence on the way we live and on self-care, so on the way we eat, exercise and sleep,” explains Kleijn. As a result, according to him, we go to bed with the idea that we should sleep well, for example because we have an important meeting the next day or because the alarm clock goes off again in seven hours. “Falling to sleep quickly then becomes, as it were, one to do to our to do list.”
Scientific research shows that this causes a certain form of tension or stress, which in turn affects our body. “We then have increased muscle tension, heart rate and breathing. Everything is set to ‘active’”, Kleijn confirms. And you guessed it: that’s exactly why you can’t just fall asleep once you’re in bed. Consciously or unconsciously you are simply too busy with the idea of having to sleep.
Doze off
The opposite is true when you relax on the couch in the evening and do not engage in this at all. “You can compare this with taking a power nap in the afternoon,” says Kleijn. As a sleep expert, he sees it often. “If people lie down thinking they have to sleep, it won’t work, but if they ‘just rest for a while’, they will fall asleep.”
sleep pressure
He also advises against making it a habit to doze off on the couch at night. “We build up sleep pressure every day from the moment we wake up until we go back to sleep. Compare it to a bucket that fills up with water all day long. Once it’s full, it’s a good time to go to sleep. During your sleep, the bucket empties completely. This process repeats itself every day.”
Dozing off in between, lowers this sleep pressure in a violent way. “If you go to bed afterwards, your sleep pressure is too low to fall asleep,” says Kleijn. Factors that reduce your chance of dozing off are eating small meals instead of large, non-fat foods, not drinking alcohol and doing something active a few hours before bedtime, such as puzzles, games, drawing, chores around the house or to walk. He continues: “The art is also to realize and accept that you only have to go to bed to get a good night’s sleep. It’s not up to you. Sleeping just happens and there is nothing you can do to fall asleep.” In this article he tells more about whether or not all kinds of remedies work, such as sleeping tea.
Right conditions
While not a guarantee, the right conditions can increase your chances of falling asleep. Think of routine actions such as brushing your teeth at night and cleaning your face. Where some people think that these wake them up after dozing off on the couch, they provide a form of structure and rhythm.
“These actions are especially helpful if you perform them in the same order every evening,” explains Kleijn. How that works? “Our brain is busy with associations all day long. We constantly make connections between one and the other, for example between the dining table and the fact that people eat there. If you brush your teeth, clean your face and read in the same order every night, your brain will associate that with the fact that you are about to go to sleep. You prepare yourself for it, as it were.”
What also helps is that these actions all take place offline. They do not cause stress and are really ‘a moment for yourself’, without stimuli. “It ensures a good transition from day to night,” he explains.
Dimmed light
The only thing that can be disadvantageous, according to him, is bright light in the bathroom or bedroom. “Make sure there is dim lighting everywhere in the house at night. Our brain associates light with being awake and darkness with sleep. You therefore want to see as little light as possible in the last two hours of the day.”
Letting go
Does your conscious or unconscious focus on sleep still keep you awake in bed at night? And do you find it difficult to let go of these thoughts? Fortunately, you are not doomed to a lifetime of poor sleep. Kleijn says that there are special acceptance and commitment therapy exists to detach from your focus on sleep.
Still hungry right before bed? In the video below you can hear which foods promote a good night’s sleep.
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