2023-07-15 19:44:03
Time.news – “A few days ago Lorenzo and I got married civilly. We did it ‘the moment of death’ because every day there is a different physical complication, I go in and out of the hospital and we no longer take anything for granted. We did it reluctantly: if we had had another way to guarantee each other’s rights we would never have resorted to such a patriarchal and limited tool, which forces us to reduce a much richer and stronger experience to the representation of the couple, where the number 2 is the opposite of who we are. No wishes, so, why the ritual we would have liked does not yet exist. But it will exist and we want to help bring it about.”
So on his Instagram profile the writer Michela Murgia, which at the beginning of May had made its known battle with kidney cancer at a very advanced stage. “In a few days in the garden of the house still moving, we will give life to our idea of celebrating the queer family”, writes the author of Cabras again.
“Our promises will not be what we were forced to make the other day. We want to share it in our own way and we will do it from this profile, without journalists or various media. Our personal experience, like everyone else’s, is more political today what ever and if i could leave a symbolic legacyI would like it to be this: another model of relationship, one more for those who have had to fight in life, always feeling something less”.
The words with which Michela Murgia announced her civil marriage with her partner Lorenzo, anticipating the desire for a further new ‘queer’ and more personal celebration, are in line with her recent path. The Sardinian author and politician, who has never failed since her literary inception his voice for civil rights, she has always sided in favor of the freedom of self-determination in personal, sentimental and family relationships.
Enough to open the doors of his house by telling the public his ‘queer’ family, understood as an inclusive and never excluding family unit, in which the author of Accabadora embraces all the people she believes she wants to support and love.
Not only her husband Lorenzo, “who is a man but could have been a woman” as Murgia herself explained in an interview with Corriere della Sera, but also friends, colleagues, people with whom she shared the own activism or simply part of the way. Pieces of life, in short. Or, to use her own words, ‘fillus de anima’, children of the soul.
After announcing, in March, that she was suffering from a serious carcinoma, the writer also anticipated that she wanted to buy a house with ten beds, where to host the large community that already lives with her in Rome and which represents her family. It was she herself who told it in several debated posts on Instagram, entitled ‘queering the family’.
“In the queer family that I live there is no one who hasn’t heard the term groom/bride in recent years. The choice of love must be kept primary, because in the so-called traditional family feelings are linked to roles, while in the queer family is exactly the opposite: roles are masks that feelings wear when and if needed, otherwise better never. Using alternative types of language allows for inclusion”.
Or again: “Family queerness is something that exists and telling about it is an increasingly political necessity, with a fascist government that recognizes no other model for families than its own”.
The intellectual also recounted the relationships within the queer family, for example his with Claudia and Raphael. “In our queer family Claudia and I are the only same-parent couple because we share a son, Raphael. How did we become mothers together? Raphael made it happen, taking my hand the night we met and saying ‘ I don’t want you to go away anymore”. So I looked at Claudia, whom I also met that evening. In the following twelve years, everything happened, I got divorced, she got married. But one thing hasn’t changed. We both remained mothers of Raphael”.
Loved and contested, never conventional, always against the current when the current pulls in a direction that she considers outdated. Michela Murgia has always aimed at revealing worlds still unknown to others. She did it with the ancestral Sardinia of her novels. She does now, with her queer tale of her life.
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