One in ten couples break up on summer vacation

2023-08-27 14:03:39

One in ten couples break up on summer vacation or in the weeks after, 25% argue at least once during that rest period and a quarter of them quarrel in the first 24 hours.

These are some of the data highlighted by the psychologist from the Psychiatry Unit of the La Salud Hospital in Valencia, Tony Crespo, who “from professional experience” has observed that “after the holidays, consultations note a significant increase in couples therapy consultationssince more than half of the couples or married couples argue during their vacation period”.

According to experts, the vacation period causes significant changes in routines. Throughout the year, families suffer the consequences of hectic schedules, multiple household chores, children, and school and extracurricular obligations, and on too many occasions the couples are relieved to “a second place” due to lack of time of dedication, stress, and above all physical and mental exhaustion.

During the holidays, all these responsibilities are put on hold “until September”, and relationships with friends and especially with partners come to the fore, so there are more possibilities for “frictions”. According to the aforementioned Psychiatry Unit, some of the problems that couples usually report in their therapies are: “It’s as if my partner was watching me all the time and that suffocates me.”

rule change

This situation usually arises because most of the year each member of the couple has their own rhythms and obligations. Once on vacation the rules change, and couples find themselves in the situation of “giving part of their time and personal space to their partners”.

Many couples arrive at consultations angry after the summer, because they think they have wasted “their time” on vacation and that they have practically done nothing.

“We also find couples in which one of the members takes the role of ‘organizer’, being the one who suggests and directse, which for the other may seem like they should ‘obey and not interfere’ in the decisions, so as not to generate discomfort”, he explains.

“Conflicts arise when the one who always suggests gets tired and then passes all the responsibility of the vacation time to the other, who does not know how to do it, because he’s never had the chance.”

Communication

“Once again we find ourselves before a bad communication from previous partner, where it is assumed that one of the two members is the one who ‘should or knows’ how to do that task better; that, as we indicated, it’s a matter of two,” adds the psychologist, who also echoes the fact that some patients say that they suddenly realize everything bad about their partner.

“Although a significant number of couples argue in summer, this does not mean that they are going to suffer a couple crisis. Psychologists remember that the best way to avoid these summer crises is to work on ourselves, and this will help us maintain a better relationship as a couple,” says Crespo.

“Summer can test many relationships, but if there is a strong relationship and there are more positives than negatives, there is no reason for an argument to mean that things are not going well or that lead to a rupture”, he points out.