2023-09-29 14:01:10
Getty Images The idea that they are capricious and selfish is quite ingrained in society, although these preconceptions are beginning to change.
Selfish, bossy, socially awkward, jealous, used to getting their way and, if that were not enough, quite bad-tempered.
Their bad reputation precedes them. However, numerous studies show that these are not characteristics necessarily associated with only children, and that only children, in many ways, are not particularly different from children who have siblings.
“The evidence, in general, does not support the idea that children who grow up as only children have some kind of deficit in their social skills, compared to children who grow up with siblings,” Alice Goisis, associate professor of Demographics of the Center for Longitudinal Studies at University College London.
These children are “comparable in terms of personality, relationship with their parents, achievements, motivations and personal adaptation with children who have siblings,” adds the researcher.
A study carried out by Goisis and his colleagues reveals that other factors of greatest importance influence the development of children, such as, for example, socioeconomic situation of the family or emotional resources available to parents.
While some research shows differences, Goisis points out that the reasons behind the discrepancies are due to context and not to the fact of being an only child per se.
“We found, for example, that in the United Kingdom, where an only child is an indicator of having grown up in a relatively advantaged family, these children had equal or better health later in life compared to children who had siblings.”
Getty Images The variety between only children is wide, much depends on the context in which they grew up.
“Whereas in Sweden, where the norm of having two children prevails and only children tend to come from families in a worse economic situation, the latter have worse health later in life,” says Goisis.
That is to say, the importance of the context and the enormous variety that exists among only children means that this cannot be considered a category in itself.
Advantages
Although the impact in terms of cognitive or sociability may not be significant, and is due to a greater extent to the context in which that child grows up, this does not mean that we cannot observe differences.
Each position within the family – whether in the role of eldest, middle or youngest child – has its advantages and disadvantages, Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist based in the United Kingdom, explains to BBC Mundo.
And this more or less advantageous situation is no different in the case of the only child, although “this is the family group that has changed the most in the last 40 or 50 years,” (and that has become more common, as a result of a choice).
One of the advantages observed by Blair in more than 40 years of experience is the linguistic excellence that only children usually have.
“This occurs due to the linguistic contribution of the parents, which is not interrupted by that of other children, which does not come from their peers, and which is necessary for brain development in the first 24 or 36 months of life.”
This gives children a great academic advantageAdd.
Getty Images Only children usually have a very good command of language.
On the other hand, they are usually very good at organizing and using their leisuresince not having brothers or sisters, they have to find and decide what to do with it.
Finally, Blair notes, “they bond more easily with older people, because they do that all the time.”
Disadvantages
On the other hand, not having siblings can place the child in a more disadvantaged situation.
“There is research that shows that siblings can have a protective effect when there is a home parents’ dysfunctional relationshipin which case this situation tends to dilute the negative impact of these stressors,” Adriean Mancillas, American psychologist and author of “Challenging the Stereotypes About Only Children: A Review of the Literature and Implications for Practice” (“Challenging stereotypes about only children: a review of the literature and implications for practice”, in Spanish).
For this reason, Mancillas highlights the importance of, in these cases, considering seeking support beyond parental figures, such as close friends or extended family members.
Getty Images If the parents’ relationship is dysfunctional, the impact is somewhat diluted when the family is larger.
One deficiency noted by Blair is the lack of the call “street intelligence” (street smart, in English) in only children. Blair refers to that kind of intuitive and practical intelligence, “that allows you to quickly recognize what someone is going to do and that you really can’t learn if you don’t live with people of a similar age.”
Another characteristic, he adds, is that since they spend much of their time alone, or with adults, They don’t feel as comfortable in chaos.
Blair insists that these are general characteristics, and that, as we mentioned at the beginning, there are no set of rules that allow describing the only child.
But if science debunks the prejudices surrounding only children that paint them in very unflattering colors, why is this notion so difficult to eradicate and how did it arise in the first place?
Getty Images Being unique, they are inevitably the focus of their parents’ attention.
“A disease in itself”
Negative stereotypes surrounding the only child date back to the late 18th century and early 19th century, when child psychology was strengthening its foundations as a field of academic study.
G. Stanley HallAmerican psychologist and pioneer in this area of study, published a series of texts in which he describes children without siblings with many of the characteristics that popular culture attributes to them today.
Hall went so far as to describe the only child as “a disease in itself.”
Shortly after, the American psychologist Eugene Bohannoncontributed his grain of sand: according to his analysis, the parents’ exclusive attention to the only child made them “highly sensitive”, “less risky”, “precocious” and “inconsiderate”.
However, another psychologist, much more widely known than Hall, had a greater influence in perpetuating negative stereotypes about only children: the Austrian Alfred Adler, argues Mancillas.
Getty Images
Dr. Alfred Adler (1870-1937).
“Adler was the first psychologist to examine and write in depth about birth order and how family structure affects children’s development,” he tells BBC Mundo.
“In Adler’s writings about his own case studies, he describes the only children he treated clinically in a manner extremely negativeand asserted that not only were these spoiled children, but that parents who chose not to have more children were inflicting a psychological damage to his only son,” he adds.
Winds of change
Although the research methods of these researchers were later questioned and their theories refuted by numerous subsequent studies, it is a myth that is difficult to eradicate.
Goisis believes that it is because the family made up of two children still prevails as typical, so the only child is still something outside the norm and, therefore, it is assumed to be different (and objectionable).
Still, attitudes toward only children are changing dramatically, due to changes in the current family model, Blair maintains.
While in the past being an only child was an anomaly, “today the situation is very different. In the United Kingdom, for example, 40% of families have only one child, and it is estimated that by 2030, this will be half of the families,” says Blair.
Getty Images The number of families with only one child is increasing.
For Mancillas, discussing these issues and bringing accurate research and information to the public is the way to eventually change points of view.
“This is true of any prejudice or stereotype,” he says.
“When implicit biases become explicit, that’s when we can change them to correct biased and stereotypical thinking that would otherwise harm another individual or group.”
“When we apply this to only children and parents, this means making sure that information is widely available so that parents can feel confident in their decision to have only one child,” Mancillas concludes.
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