You will have to learn to live with that, my doctor said when I spoke about the intense overstimulation I experienced in daily life. I had always suffered to a certain extent from being unable to tolerate bright lights, loud noises and crowds around me, but it got worse and I had symptoms: shortness of breath, headache, insomnia and enormous restlessness. I had tried everything, visited doctors and psychologists, but nothing seemed to help. In the meantime I had come to the painful conclusion that a ‘normal working life’ was not possible for me, despite my master’s degree. I didn’t know then what I know now: that ADHD was an important cause of my complaints.
ADHD among women is severely underdiagnosed. If that does happen, it is usually only in adulthood. Women with ADHD exhibit less disruptive behavior and are naturally more adaptable than men. The hyperactivity manifests itself more often in inner turmoil, which is much less noticeable for the environment. If there is also an above-average intelligence, it is often no longer noticeable that something is wrong: after all, school performance is excellent.
In silence these girls struggle, consciously or unconsciously, with all the stimuli and distractions that are fired at them every day. In order to keep up well at school, but also in the social field, they have often become masters in adapting and compensating. Although this is beneficial in the short term, it often takes its toll later in life. Addictions, burnouts, anxiety and depression are well-known consequences, but so are low self-esteem and the feeling of not being satisfied. As soon as help is called in, there is often a period of misery, misunderstanding and misdiagnosis, before ADHD is even thought of.
Grieving process
When finally diagnosed, many women go through a grieving process. We realize that not everything was our fault, but that our brain simply works differently. The question of how life would have turned out if ADHD had been discovered earlier arises. But there is also relief: a cause offers perspective.
In addition to medication, it helps to learn how the ADHD brain works and how to deal with it. Especially in this fast-paced society, it is essential that our busy brain gets enough rest. A good work-life balance is important for everyone, but even more so for those for whom the filter does not work so well.
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Also read: Child psychiatrist Hilgo Bruining: ‘Some children may need more freedom’
In recent years, more attention has been paid to the other manifestation that many mental disorders, such as ADHD, exhibit in women. Yet ADHD is often still wrongly seen as a syndrome that only occurs in busy boys. As a result, many girls and women with ADHD still walk around without knowing it.
Early recognition can prevent a lot of suffering. If girls learn to deal with their ADHD at an early age, the chance of later problems decreases. In fact, it offers space to let the beautiful sides of their personalities flourish more. ADHDers in their power are not only valuable for many organizations with their original insights, creativity and spontaneity, but also enrich society with their colorful character.