Video: People’s Artist Lan Huong shares the secret to keeping the marriage alive with Meritorious Artist Do Ky
Mr. Ky and I didn’t love each other so much that we got married
– The love story of People’s Artist Lan Huong and Meritorious Artist Do Ky, the audience knows all too well through the media, is there anything that has not been shared about their love and marriage, especially during the recent difficult time? When Meritorious Artist Do Ky was not allowed to become People’s Artist?
People’s Artist Lan Huong and Meritorious Artist Do Ky got married in 1987. |
Recently, while filming in Da Lat, I took a photo walking through the steps. In my head, I thought I would post photos of myself going through many paths as well as the life of an artist who has played roles from miserable roles to happy roles, from evil people to gentle people.
In life, my husband and I are like that. When two strangers stick together, they not only love each other but also have to endure each other’s bad things. Because no one is perfect.
The elders have a saying: If you love each other, the water chestnut will be round / If you hate each other, the soapberry will be square. Mr. Ky and I didn’t love each other so much that we got married. We played and loved each other for about 9 years. Seeing all their classmates getting married, they both thought that maybe they should get married instead of being single. When I got married, I was 27 years old, which is considered old.
Actually, Mr. Ky and I didn’t have any romantic confessions, but turned to each other and said: Maybe we should get married, wouldn’t we end up single? Well then we got married and we decided to get married in a very simple and rustic exchange like that. We got married in 1987 and in 1989, when I was 29 years old, I gave birth to my first child. All the difficulties now compared to when Mr. Ky and I first got married are nothing. When we moved in together, we lived in an attic with a leaky corrugated iron roof.
Every time it rains, you must hang a bucket on a hook on the rafters to catch water. But it was the time under that corrugated iron roof that left behind so many memories.
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Meritorious Artist Do Ky, according to People’s Artist Lan Huong, is not a romantic person, but the two know how to reconcile their differences to stay together for nearly 40 years. |
I was disappointed when I first got married
– You decided to get married because you’ve been in love for a long time and you think you’re older, so when you move into the same house, are you disappointed because married life is different from when you were in love?
For all those who are new to marriage, especially in difficult times like ours, disappointment is inevitable. When living together, each individual will have many different habits. There are habits that I can accept, but there are habits that are very surprising, even unbearable.
I’m worried and careful. For example, when I give Mr. Ky something to bring down, my grandmother will give me very careful instructions. I’m worried because Mr. Ky’s family doesn’t have any girls and everyone lives simply, while my family is pure Hanoi, sophisticated and has many women, and everyone is a good housekeeper. The two situations are really different.
One fine day, Mr. Ky said he felt like when he got married, he would no longer be free and comfortable. Could it be that when he brought the things down to his grandmother, he didn’t know what to say, so his wife had to tell him. When he spoke, I realized I shouldn’t be like that and accepted that my husband would be clumsy when going here and there. I waited until the incident had passed for a while and consequences occurred before commenting. Sometimes we have to really stumble and suffer losses to find sustainability.
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People’s Artist Lan Huong is youthful at the age of 63. |
When I first became a daughter-in-law, I could not immediately get along with my mother-in-law
– You use the word “endure”, sometimes you have to be soft, you have to change, but in life there are times when because of too much stress, people, according to common sense, want to let go of everything. Have you ever been in this state during your marriage?
I don’t have that thought, but there are really times when I can’t relieve my mind. For example, when I first became a daughter-in-law, I could not immediately get along with my mother-in-law. Sometimes I feel unreasonable when my grandmother rebukes me about something, so I get angry. But I was educated that when I return home, my husband must always respect adults.
When I was 3 months old, I took my baby to the living room to sit. Then a friend of hers came to visit, so I said hello and went inside. I heard the guest say: You have such a beautiful daughter-in-law. My mother-in-law then replied: I don’t need a beautiful face, I just need beautiful features. At that time, I felt terribly sad. But you have to know how to find a way to relieve it. When I’m sad, I sometimes ride my bike around Ha Le Lake near my husband’s house or visit my mother.
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People’s Artist Lan Huong is always radiant because she has a perfect family. |
I found ways to relieve my frustration but absolutely adhered to the principle of never arguing with my mother-in-law. When complaining to her husband, Mr. Ky only said: Why are you so bored? Who would say that? Obviously, I know he doesn’t agree with her point of view, but I understand that she doesn’t have any malicious intent.
The more I spent with her, the more I understood that she was just saying that in general and not directed at me. Therefore, in the future I have to live more openly and sociably with people and learn tolerance from adults like my mother.
During our marriage, Mr. Ky and I’s life was not romantic, we did not give flowers or gifts at all. Unfortunately, on some holiday he’s home and remembers to buy a gift, but when he’s busy or on a business trip, that’s it.
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People’s Artist Lan Huong learned a lot from her mother-in-law and always adhered to the principle of not arguing with adults. |
I used to be angry all night and couldn’t sleep
– Even though you’re used to it, do you feel sorry for yourself because your husband lacks romance?
When I was young, I felt very sorry for myself and even thought: I’m not so bad, why am I so miserable? When I first got married, I had such funny thoughts. And when he was angry, the two of them turned their backs to each other, talking back and forth for a while, and I saw him snoring. So I was angry all night and couldn’t sleep.
Later, I realized that if that was the case, I would be the only one at fault, so gradually life harmonized and I learned how to adjust. No one is perfect, the main thing is to see mistakes and fix them.
I want to tell young people that everything is not rosy at first. My opinion still seems correct to this day. Happiness is a tree and both of you must water it every day. This means that husband and wife must work together to overcome difficulties. The more difficult they are, the more they know how to share, the more lasting their love will be.
Mr. Ky and I came together with nothing, having to sit sharpening each pair of chopsticks, catching every drop of water leaking on the roof, leading to incidents while he and I worked, so many gossips, so much jealousy and envy. , many people want to harm me.
However, we never tried to protest and always chose to take a detour to overcome the incident. Recently, when Mr. Ky failed the People’s Artist Award, perhaps because he thought it was the end of his life, the two of them should speak up once, the first and only time. We hope that the older generation will become an example for the younger generation to believe in the truth and stay away from bad things. When it comes from bad things, things are never good and never right. If the starting point is construction, there will be good results.
Like in my recent film crew, when it took too long and everyone was tired, the parts started to malfunction and blamed each other. I voiced my opinion that everyone should talk to each other and scolded those who work more and more unprofessionally. If you want to be quick and effective, you must focus. But the next day, I was back to normal.
When you asked me, I answered that because yesterday there was only a film crew and today there were many actors and a very large crowd, so I would never reveal my shirt to show people my back. Today, everything is in order again, everyone has corrected the mistakes, so why am I not happy as usual?
I tell you not to be selfish, especially at work, don’t just quit if you don’t like it or quit doing it. If you accept a job, even if you die, you must complete the task, not because it is too difficult and give up, that will block your path to success.
Photo & Video: Quynh An