The Vio Plaza office building stands out like a middle finger to good taste in the heart of Meidling, now the 23rd most beautiful district in Vienna. A serious aesthetic crime that cannot remain without consequences. The daily press wants to have the monolithic monster torn down in order to restore the cityscape – help us!
Local inspection. Just 100 meters from Vio Plaza, the dreaded “sick building” syndrome sets in: headaches, sweats, severe nausea. The sight is unbearable. You won’t find any trees, green spaces or meadows where you could eat.
Practical: The fence at the entrance to the underground car park offers enough options to lock your bike.
When you enter the building, the urge to vomit becomes so strong that you can no longer hold back. The fresh vomit in the foyer suddenly makes the architecture seem more lively, more aesthetically pleasing and less hostile to life – at least. One would like to call the tasteless glass coffin hellish, but at least hell is warm.
Surprised
The tasteful, cool shopping center surprises the visitor with a Billa, Meidling’s 27th “action” junk shop, as well as a Vapiano, which invites you to fill your limp office body with empty carbohydrates after a 10-hour shift in the Excel spreadsheet.
It’s practical that you no longer have to rely on the small, owner-managed shops on Meidlinger Hauptstrasse. The light breeze of recovery that recently blew through the traditional shopping street has now been nipped in the bud.
After 30 seconds, the investigative team from the daily press has to call off their visit to the grotesquely ugly office hell. The risk of permanent damage is simply too high. All employees involved are currently receiving psychological support.
Charitable cause
At least it’s not all for free. The return generated benefits a charitable cause: The building is owned by a farming harvest cooperative called Raiffeisen Bank, which has lost 35% of its company value since the loss of its Russian business and is gnawing on the starvation silk handkerchief.
Doesn’t anyone think about the shareholders? What is a district that has been ruined for five decades compared to a deep red investment portfolio?
Of course, small sacrifices had to be made for the construction, such as this Wilhelminian style house. An ugly relic of a bygone era that only costs money and yields nothing. Pooh! Guideline rents! MRG! Permanent tenants! Who needs a house like that? Away with it! The future belongs to the barren food can colossi that tower 30 meters above their surroundings.
Note the advertising in the foreground: “There are 1.7 million brains. Let’s use them! Smart City Vienna” – a good tip that the Vienna City Hall itself could take to heart.
Our demands:
Demolition and new construction of a building that fits the Vienna cityscape (90 meter high allotment garden) or at least a building suitable for Meidling (seven-story kebab-schnitzel-pizza brothel).
Imprisonment of all employees of the architectural office and sentence to the maximum penalty (Permanent, lifelong tenancy in Vio Plaza Tower)
Compensation payments to all residents suffering from eye cancer
Erection of a memorial at the demolition site based on Ground Zero, New York
40 lashes with a wet rag for the responsible building authority
Confiscation of further buildings owned by Raiffeisen, including the Burj Mikl-Leitner Caliphate and the Putin Plaza Perchtoldsdorf
Raiffeisen Bank takes over the lifelong psychotherapy of the daily press team
Already have it 763 People signed.
2024-04-11 10:58:47