2023-06-27 10:00:05
Relationships are changeable and sometimes very unstable. Wefeel is an application designed by two Spanish psychologists with the aim of anticipating relationship problems in order to prevent them.
lasting relationships. EFE/Jaume Sellart
Genevieve Mendoza y There is advice They are two psychologists specialized in couples therapy. In addition, both are the founders and CEO of Wefeel, a mobile application designed to prevent problems in love relationships.
The project that started two years ago has more than a million users and downloads. Ana Payo, one of its founders, explains that behind the application there is expert psychologists in personal relationships who design the games or “micro-moments” that make up the app.
Almost 100% of the people who go to therapy for relationship problems are adults, although it also occurs regularly in young people and adolescents.
Wefeel: train our relationships
A Harvard study states that 80% of people think that the fundamental factor that impacts on their happiness is the quality of relationships that they maintain with others.
“When patients come for consultation, they do so for many reasons, but almost always there is a main axis and that is that something is not working in personal relationships,” explains Genoveva Mendoza.
“Mainly for many adults, therapy is the last resort to move the relationship forward, because in this country couples therapy is understood as a last cartridge when in reality the relationship has been going wrong for a long time,” Mendoza continues.
The experts affirm that most couples who come to therapy they arrive with a relationship in a very critical state and break up a short time later.
“Little by little we saw that there was a very big gap between the moment a couple falls in love and starts dating, and the moment they are about to break up. In the intermediate phases, couples do not have enough information to face the problems of their relationship until they end up breaking up”, explains Genoveva Mendoza.
Both psychologists decided to work in this space with the aim of being able to improve the prevention of these problems.
Not everyone has the same vision of life and that is why, sometimes, the idea of a relationship that a person has in mind clashes with that of their partner.
Thus, this project arose, with the aim of strengthening the relationship before anticipating possible relationship problems.
It is a universal, informative and accessible initiative so that people can train your way of relating to others and your partner.
It is designed for all types of couples and relationships. Also for a wide age range as it is as useful for young people as it is for adults.
Ana Payo (left) and Genoveva Mendoza, founders of Wefeel. Courtesy image.
How can an app help prevent relationship problems?
The application uses a methodology based on professional experience of the psychologists who after years in consultation have noticed deficiencies in preventing problems in personal relationships.
Paul Goodman was an American psychologist who authored the largest study on couple relationships.
Which are the fundamental pillars that you have to work for a relationship to remain healthy? Which are the keys to understanding the needs of my partner?
These are guidelines that the founders of Wefeel collect from Paul Goodman’s study within the application.
“The balance within the relationship has to be positive,” says Ana Payo.
“The idea is to build or help couples to be emotionally intelligent couples, where the balance is always positive, where the number of positive interactions between them increases throughout the day,” summarizes the psychologist.
New couple models, same problems in relationships
Conflicting family relationships can ‘prick’ love. Photo: Cottonbro Studio/Pexels
The new couple models bring with them new ways of relating but despite this, experts say that couple problems are usually the same regardless of the type of relationship you have.
“Even the most traditional relationships can have marital problems. Each couple is a world that has rules and a different way of functioning and you have to attend to the needs of that relationship”, explains the psychologist Ana Payo.
What is that relationship code? What things do each of them need on an individual level and what do they need as a relationship? What is that model that is interesting for them, that makes them happy as a couple?
The application leaves total freedom for each couple to set their standards and it is simply in charge of strengthening, through games and daily reminders, the little things that, according to Genoveva Mendoza, keep the illusion of the relationship alive.
Tips to prevent relationship problems
break with stereotypes what we have about how our previous relationships have been, our parents’ relationship, the relationships we see on the internet… each couple is different and we have to give our relationship the opportunity to build from scratch, with its own personality.
Don’t try to change the otheraccept how the other person is because he will only change if he wants to and the more flexible you are, the more space you will give him so that he can adapt.
Choose well. If we are in an early phase, it is better to make sure that we are choosing well, because that will make things much easier. If we do not choose well, we are going to spend our whole lives in our relationship fighting against things that are very basic to us. This requires knowing ourselves very well and accepting what we need.
Keep curiosity alive for the other, and not assume, as we have been around for a long time, we already know each other completely and we have nothing to tell each other. In is a very common mistake, which separates us emotionally.
Communicate, but do not talk just to talk: There are people who find it easier to communicate, others who find it less so. The important thing is that the communication be well directed and not just talk, argue for the sake of arguing.
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