I confess that when I arrived in Porto Alegre, already in the late 1970s, even though it was a capital from another time – which little or almost nothing is still protected today – it did not take long for me to be taken over by a mental dread. Distressing. Suffocating. Scary.
I was terrified of failure, of running out of what little I actually had, after all, I was just a Taura Indian from the interior with two pieces of out-of-date clothing in an old brown leather suitcase. Terrified of having to go back out with even less of that dignity that I was so proud of. Yes, having honor was much more than a virtue.
Pride is a pernicious step to failure, however, if misused.
I was pretty naughty, and even though I still consider myself a back-field gauchão, back then it was much worse, that’s why I was suspicious of anything that wasn’t wearing breeches and a hat. It wasn’t once or twice that I thought about going back and accepting that my world was another. That I was born for the bush and not for civilization. Luckily, my fear of failure was so much greater than anything else that failure didn’t seem like an option.
Pride would not allow me to falter. I stayed, I insisted, I fell and I got up, and if today I no longer live in Porto Alegre it is because I no longer seem to adapt to everything that is no longer available in the Capital and is needed. In the end, it’s by choice.
I thought about the nightmares I had with failure, always awake – at the beginning of my journey, after another unsuccessful derby at Internacional. I’m not exactly sure when it started and at what crossroads Colorado got lost, but it seems to me that this fear of failure penetrated the Club’s bowels so much, that players come and go and we continue with fear of the normal, of a common team, with or without a European striker or wherever he came from. It’s something much bigger than it really needs to be, excessive respect for someone who doesn’t even deserve it and maybe never deserved it.
Damn it’s Inter, damn it! Where did our pride go?
In addition to the awareness that failure was not an option for me, returning to my corner meant no longer having the chance to attend Beira Rio, that colossus in my eyes and that embraced me in such a way that, even today, when I emerge there in shore and I see my Giant, I have no doubt that I’m getting home.
My heart is still in that field, but my soul has moved on, looking for new stories to live and tell.
We need to move on, build a new story. To live and tell. We no longer have the winning team of 2006, or the beautiful team of 2008 to 2010. We will never have the great team of the 1970s again. It’s true. But you know what never changes? Internacional is still the same old Internacional!
May those who govern us, together with those who enter the field, be aware of what it means to wear the white shirt. Of the pride it is to wear the Colorado mantle.
And since it wasn’t an option for me back then, for Internacional to fail equally will never be.
The pride of being Colorado will prevail. For the glory!
SHORTS
– Mano Menezes, who I’ve been saying made bad reading during the game, this time he still climbed badly. Therefore, it needs to be charged for the lack of performance and tactical repertoire;
– Said the late Dr. Ibsen Pinheiro who “moves the coach who climbs badly”. So I don’t know what’s left for our coach;
– But there is also a lack of vibrancy on the field, fighting spirit and determination. Many. I also begin to worry about physical preparation;
– Keiller missed the first goal, yes. He could have also defended the second (but here there was a lack of reading of the game for the defense as well). The curse of the 1 Colorada shirt seems to want to claim yet another victim;
– I like the new shirt and I have some story to tell about it. Maybe next time;
– In the last 30 years, only two goalkeepers of the base effectively avenged: André and Alisson;
– The board that doesn’t make flute because it is afraid of suffering back later, suffers the same. Repeatedly. With the poetic license of Dr. Rui Barbosa, leader of the international is not a profession for cowards;
– The idea of failure seems to emerge from the inside out. Forget that and just be proud that I assure you that we will get much further.
QUESTION
Now (at last) is love with Mano Menezes over?
Even more courage, my Colorado People! And pride of our Inter!
PACHECO