Actress Jennifer Garner’s recent comments on NBC’s “Today” show have sparked a conversation about the concept of “benign neglect” in parenting. In the interview, Garner expressed her belief that while she wants to be involved in her children’s lives, it’s also important to allow them to experience some level of independence and self-sufficiency.
This approach to parenting, which encourages children to find ways to entertain themselves and solve problems on their own, has resonated with many parents who are looking for alternatives to the intensive, constantly involved style of parenting that has become prevalent in recent years.
Parenting coach Oona Hanson explained that adopting a more hands-off approach can give children the space they need to grow and develop essential skills such as creativity, independence, and problem-solving. In fact, research suggests that constantly being involved in a child’s activities can lead to a feeling of learned helplessness, hindering their self-efficacy and confidence.
Catherine Newman, an academic department coordinator and author, shared her experience of allowing her children to entertain themselves and build independence during the summer months. She found that giving her children the freedom to be creative and figure things out on their own not only made them more self-sufficient but also allowed her to enjoy her time with them more fully.
While the concept of “benign neglect” may seem counterintuitive to some, experts like Dr. Janine Domingues and Oona Hanson argue that it’s essential for children to learn how to navigate challenges and stress on their own. By fostering their independence and problem-solving skills, parents can help set their children up for success in the future.
Of course, finding the right balance between being involved and giving children space to grow is a challenge. It’s important for parents to create an environment that supports independence, while also being available to provide support and guidance when needed.
Ultimately, the goal of “benign neglect” parenting is to raise children who are confident, independent, and capable of handling life’s challenges. By embracing this approach, parents can prioritize their own well-being and model the kind of adulthood they want their children to have.