2023-07-06 12:54:00
Studies confirm how thoughts of your ex can inspire a new relationship
The memories of the ex can even be good for the new relationship
© IMAGO / Panthermedia
Thinking about your ex-partner in a new relationship usually has negative associations. A research team disproved this theory and was even able to prove the opposite.
The researchers Ting Ai, Omri Gillath and Mark Landau ventured into a new area of analysis when they analyzed in three studies to what extent a past relationship can strengthen a new one. When thinking about an ex-partner in a new relationship, it is often assumed that you still have feelings for the other person. But the memories of the past can also bring a great benefit.
In three surveys, the researchers interviewed 493 people and assigned them tasks. The participants were between 18 and 79 years old, with an average age in their early thirties. The tasks varied from specifically thinking about any memory with the ex, thinking about an event unrelated to the ex, and recalling an emotional memory with the ex. The research team found that reminiscing about the new relationship made you feel better. According to the experts, one reason could be that the positive feelings generalize when remembered.
Old mistakes can add value to a new relationship
Another study asked about the current quality of the relationship and the perception of personal growth within the relationship. Amazingly, reflecting on the past relationship made one feel better about the current one and felt greater personal growth. Often you also learn from past mistakes, so that you can better realize yourself in a new relationship.
The researchers’ third approach had study participants read articles on a website. The contents were strangers’ memories and feelings of their past love. The result of this study underlined the previous findings and added that after reading the posts, the participants showed a higher motivation to intensify energy into their current relationship.
The conclusion of the studies is therefore that memories of an ex-partner can certainly inspire a new relationship. The ex-thoughts should increase the willingness to invest in the new relationship. Thoughts of the old love can heighten perceptions of the quality of the new relationship.
According to the researchers, a negative impact on the new relationship can be expected if the memories focus on the emotional or sexual attraction of the past love. Especially if the feelings haven’t completely subsided. Whenever the ex-partner is remembered as a better alternative in certain areas, it can become critical for the new relationship. If the ex-love serves as a negative example, thinking about it will help you appreciate the new love.
Sources: Studie im European Journal of Social Psychology, Psychology Today
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