self-discovery of autism as an adult

by time news

52 years. This is how old Anne Cossé was when she “finally understood”. “I have spent my life looking for a tribe. I traveled in Asia, in America, thinking that maybe I would feel better in other cultures; I joined a party, telling myself that sharing political ideas would allow me to bond with others… As I still felt so apart, I ended up telling myself that I was crazy or that I belonged to another planet. »

Until a psychiatrist revealed to him, in 2017, the name of this other “planet” : Asperger’s syndrome, named after the Austrian pediatrician who identified this autistic disorder, characterized by difficulty in communicating with others, but without intellectual deficit or delay in the appearance of language.

“I could stop hiding myself”

Five years later, this artist who graduated from HEC and the École Polytechnique Feminine is still moved to tears when she thinks about “Immense relief and joy” what she felt. “Finally, I could stop camouflaging myself,” she says. “Understanding helps to forgive oneself: if I’m like that, it’s not my faultexplains Alexandra Reynaud, diagnosed at 32. It doesn’t mean making fun of everything, but it does stop wasting time and energy pretending to be someone else.” summarizes this blogger (1), who resumed studies in philosophy and devoted several books to the subject.

For Anne Cossé, who also keeps a blog (2), it’s the seemingly simple everyday things that get the most stuck. “I can solve a lot of complicated problems, but I can’t choose between two carafes in a store”, she illustrates.

Change of look

Discovering autism at 30, 40 or 50: these late diagnoses are not uncommon, according to Frédérique Bonnet-Brilhault, professor of child psychiatry and physiology at the University Hospital of Tours. And the main reason is historical. “Today, each region has an autism resource center, but when these adults were children, there was only one specialized center, in Tours. »

Above all, the conception of autism was quite different. “We thought that a child who spoke and looked you in the eye could not be autistic, she recalls. We were still in prehistory. » “For people of my generation, born in the late 1970s, the image of autism was that of the mute and withdrawn child”, confirms Alexandra Reynaud. She, on the contrary, always has a lot “verbalized”. “Too much, I’m a chatterbox”laughs the forties.

The special case of girls

For her, her late diagnosis is also due to the fact that she is a woman. “We tend to blend into the mould, and we integrate the codes better, especially at school. » A bias that Professor Frédérique Bonnet-Brilhault confirms: “A little girl at the back of the class who doesn’t speak to anyone passes more easily unnoticed than a little boy.» So much so that the official statistics could be wrong according to her. “It is often said that autism affects four men for every woman, but it is not impossible that the ratio is more like three to one, or even two to one. »

“Who knows, maybe there are loads of people in nursing homes who don’t know they have Asperger’s and who will never know? », suggests Alexandra Reynaud. While warning against ” trend “, pushing some to self-diagnose.

The temptation of self-diagnosis

“We continue to associate Asperger’s autism with a form of genius, a ‘Rain Man’ endowed with extraordinary abilities, she specifies. But it’s not enough to be a little lonely and have a high IQ. It’s a bit like saying you have Alzheimer’s just because you’re often dizzy and often forget your keys. »

Checking the boxes of one of the many tests offered on the Internet is therefore not enough. “The diagnosis must be made by a specialist, after the very rigorous examination of a set of criteria, evaluated by several interviews and a battery of tests, insists Frédérique Bonnet Brilhault. There are plenty of reasons that can make you feel out of step with the world. Autism is not necessarily one. »

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Autism in France

About 700,000 people in France suffer from an autism spectrum disorderaccording to the National Institute of Health and Medical Research (Inserm).

100,000 are under 20.

Autism has long been associated with mental retardation. However, the proportion of people suffering from an autistic disorder with an intellectual disability does not exceed 45 to 50%.

Asperger’s syndrome, for example, is an autism spectrum disorder associated with a very good intellectual development.

If late diagnoses can be made, the first signs suggestive of autism most often appear between 18 and 36 months.

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