“It’s never too late” (Good Luck to You Leo Grande) directed by Sophie Hyde, is a completely positive sex film. It is almost as unpredictable in its subtleties as it is strong in its portrayal of compassion, body image, ageism and antiquated societal ideas about pleasure.
“Never Too Late” is a completely positive sex film. It is almost as unpredictable in its subtleties as it is strong in its portrayal of compassion, body image, ageism, and antiquated societal ideas about pleasure.
Dame Emma Thompson, the excellent and veteran British actress plays in the film Nancy Stokes, a 60+ year old widowed teacher, who during her life had sex with only one man – her late husband. With him she lay in only one position, a missionary position, when she is completely passive and her husband is not interested, does not ask, and does not consider Mawiya.
She longs for human connection and good sex, the kind she has never known in her entire life, and she is looking for exciting sex as she read about on social media. Two years after she was widowed by her routine and disappointing husband, she plucks up courage and hires the services of Leo Grande, a young “sex worker”, in the hope that she will finally experience satisfying sex and experience her first orgasm in her life.
But this is only the frame story. After all, if this were the essential story, it would end the moment she hires a “sex worker” for sex, the way a man hires a date. On the other hand, the film deals with rare honesty in sex, old age and loneliness, topics that usually do not appear on a cinematic level (the excellent film “Our Souls at Night” comes to mind), or they appear in a superficial way that lacks a grip on reality.
Trailer for the film: here, and here.
Nancy Stokes, a 60+ year old widowed teacher, had sexual relations with only one man during her life – her late husband. She lay with him in only one position, missionary, when she is completely passive and her husband is not interested, asks or considers her maverick
I will mention two important issues that the film raises:
Life after age 50-60
The first is basically looking at life after the age of 50-60. Without a spouse.
The film focuses on the sexuality and passion of an older woman and does so with honesty and sensitivity, which reveals to us the beauty of a woman who learns to love herself. It presents a mature woman who, despite all personal, social and moral inhibitions, wants to experience satisfying sex and orgasm for the first time in her life. And more than that, she works to achieve it.
“I want to play something different. I want to play feeling young again,” says Nancy, “I want that feeling back. That feeling of having everything before me.” “Do you want to be sixteen again?” asks Leo, and Nancy answers: “No, I don’t want to be sixteen again. Being sixteen is terrible. I want the feeling of being sixteen again. this power. I didn’t know I had it. It was wasted on me.”
Katie Brand’s excellent and intelligent script is a mature and fascinating discussion, with an appropriate amount of humor, about life after the age of 60. It presents a positive attitude regarding ageism, sexuality, and the legitimacy of pleasure even in mature women whose bodies are not perfect.
“I was always ashamed of myself,” says Nancy. “I mean in my body. I was always aware of what was wrong with it. Thick thighs, fat stomach, boobs now go down to my navel. My arms are swinging. If I didn’t pluck out the hairs here and there, I could join the circus after a month.”
“I was always ashamed of myself,” says Nancy. “I mean in my body. Thick thighs, a fat stomach, boobs now go down to my navel. Arms swinging. If I didn’t lose hair, I could join the circus after a month.”
The film says that women should not pretend and be ashamed of themselves. that they can be active in searching for that “something” that only another human being can provide. You can proactively and actively search for a friend with whom you can talk, share experiences, hang out and have sex. A friend with whom it will be possible to meet and feel again like a girl happy to meet her lover.
It’s worth listening to the words of the film’s director, Sophie Hyde: “Incredibly, we hardly saw any non-young women on the screen talking about sex. It’s time for something different and refreshing, which is why I was so enthusiastic about this story. Sex is fun and it’s a good feeling, but in the end it’s also The ways in which we communicate with others. I think the essence of our existence is to communicate with others, and hence sex is an important part of our lives and we should not be ashamed of it.”
And as it is said in the song of glory to pleasure in the script, from Leo: “You know, one thing I love is just watching someone’s face when she feels pleasure. When she lets go and lets go, when she surrenders, when the body goes you, and this heat, and this feeling, everything just releases, it Just so, so great.”
Respect and mutual agreement
Dealing with respect and mutual agreement is the second theme in the film. Brand’s sharp script is full of wit, where at every moment there is a smart discussion about sex, and especially about the importance of consent – both for mutual pleasure and for thinking beyond the personal experience of each party.
Hyde: “Sex is fun and a good feeling, but also one of the ways in which we communicate with others. I think the essence of our existence is to communicate with others, and hence sex is an important part of our lives and we should not be ashamed of it.”
The film evokes a miracle and emphasizes mutual pleasure as one of the most important elements of sex, and makes sure that the needs of each of the participants are heard, understood, respected and met. Nancy has never experienced an orgasm, and describes her sex life as having been uneventful for over 30 years. Her satisfaction is something she has never put an emphasis on, and neither has her late husband. It’s also something she didn’t think was possible. This is not surprising, as her former sexual partner, her husband, seems to have had no interest in asking her what she enjoys.
Emma Thompson handles all of this with care, delicacy and expertise, as Nancy presents the typical stages of their passionless sexual interactions like clockwork, including fake orgasms, and laughing at what could be defined as unwanted sex, as an acceptable experience.
The importance of continued consent is at the core of the film, an intimate and deliberate stain, and the film does not miss a beat here. For example, when Leo leads by asking for and taking physical, verbal and energetic cues from Nancy. When he seeks, for example, consent to every single intimate act, from kissing Nancy on the cheek to dancing to an Alabama Shakes song as a means of shedding Nancy’s inhibitions. Nancy, for her part, also constantly asks for consent to physical contact, to caress Leo’s body.
By juxtaposing themes of passion and mutual pleasure, with ongoing consent and recognition of boundaries, the film emphasizes the importance of respecting yourself and others at the same time when it comes to sex.
Under the intimate guidance of director Sophie Hyde, actors Thompson and McCormack take Katie Brand’s script and work with it to create a superb film about the nuances of mutual respect and consent, of wants, needs and compassion.
The film evokes a miracle and emphasizes mutual pleasure as one of the most important elements of sex, and makes sure that the needs of each of the participants are heard, understood, respected and met
According to Nancy, “Pleasure is a wonderful thing. It’s something we all have to accept. My body is no longer the carcass I’ve been walking around in for thirty years. No, now it’s a wonderful thing, a ‘playground of pleasure,’ as you say.”
And here is an article from the New York Times that was published in Israel about the film.