2023-05-30 16:02:08
Sex, menstruation and masturbating women. Unfortunately, there is still a taboo surrounding these subjects. What happens when you combine all these topics and merge them into one? Congratulations, you have now tackled the subject that people absolutely do not want to talk about, namely sex (with yourself) during menstruation. Psychologist and sexologist Nynke Nijman wants to work with TODAY, high-end designer of sex toys and champion of sexual well-being, to discuss this topic. Because how is it possible that we often see something that is very normal as dirty? Nynke tells you everything you need to know about sex during your period. Believe it or notit also has a lot of advantages!
Tabee with the taboo
According to Nynke, it is time to normalize these subjects: ‘Menstruation is such a normal thing, such a human thing, sexuality is such a human thing and masturbation is of course part of it. It makes it very difficult for many people that we can’t just talk about such normal things.’
Let’s talk about: sex during menstruation
Sex during menstruation? There’s nothing dirty about that, so let’s discuss it! Nynke: ‘We don’t mind if vaginal fluid is released, we don’t mind if our partner squirts and all kinds of fluids are released there, of which it is still a bit indefinable what exactly it is. In fact, the more the better. But the moment it’s menstrual blood, we suddenly find it all complicated.’ It’s actually pretty crazy when you look at it that way, isn’t it?
The benefits of sex (with yourself) during menstruation
Are you on your period? That’s no reason not to have sex when you actually want to. Having sex with yourself, or together, during menstruation has advantages. For example, all kinds of happy substances are released when you are intimate with yourself or your partner, for example the hormone endorphins. When you touch your lover, or when you have an orgasm, the production of this happiness hormone is stimulated. Endorphins have an analgesic effect. Is that convenient, Bye bye, menstrual pain.
During menstruation you sometimes feel a bit gloomy. The substance oxytocin that is released during intimacy with yourself or your partner can help with this. Nynke: ‘We also call oxytocin our bonding hormone. It therefore ensures that you want to bond with the person you are with, but also that the fear system is inhibited and you gain more confidence in the other person.’
Another highlight of sex during your period happens to be related to your own. The vagina and clitoris have better blood flow during sex and become more sensitive as a result. This can make your orgasms even more intense. Enough reasons to roll up your sleeves!
That’s how you start the conversation
Would you actually like to have sex during menstruation, but are you afraid of what your partner thinks? Pick up the courage and start the conversation. For example, you can say that you notice that you never have sex during menstruation, wonder together why this is the case and how it came about. “People who get their periods very often think it’s gross for their partner, or they think it’s gross because they’re afraid of their partner’s judgement.” According to Nynke, this is not necessary. “In reality, we often see that those who have their period actually have more trouble with it than their partner.”
When you discuss this in your relationship, it can contribute to your intimate bond, you normalize the subject, which reduces discomfort.’ A partner actually says: there is nothing about you that I find dirty and the person who is menstruating says: there is nothing about myself that I don’t dare to show you.’
Nothing is necessary, everything is allowed and everyone has their own thing
Are you and your partner not quite comfortable having sex during menstruation or coming into contact with menstrual blood? That’s totally okay too. Nynke: ‘Everyone can color sex in his or her own way, including during menstruation. As long as you have had the opportunity and have been given the space to think for yourself about how you feel about it and what you think of it yourself.’
There are more options for being intimate together, including during menstruation. “You don’t have to go for oral pleasure, you don’t have to go for penetrative sex. External stimulation is also an option. Use toys, use the whole body.’ Does your partner not feel comfortable with it, but do you feel like it? Then get started yourself!
That you menstruate is a fact, every month again. There is nothing weird, crazy or dirty about it. ‘About half of the world has to deal with this every month, actually the whole world, because the partners also have to deal with it. It’s so normal. Just like eating, drinking and breathing.’ So make it negotiable!
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