The causes. ‘Bananalândia’, a Mexican telenovela

2023-05-02 22:00:00

The Mexican telenovela that became what was once called “Government of Portugal” Regularly changes the protagonist.

The problem is that the change of protagonist is nothing more than the maintenance of the plot, in which so much continuity already tires us.

In summary, this is the plot:

1. that “Bananaland” Political Power is occupied by a group of ambitious ex-leftists;
2. They were losing or overturning whatever convictions they had;
3. They only intend to survive in the small and medium-sized sinecures they have reached thanks to clientele networks, friendships and willingness to serve chefs with crawling dedication, but
4. For this, when necessary, they accuse each other, killing those who complicate things, lying or not telling the truth, using and abusing the Power they enjoy.

In the telenovela there are secondary actors who must be avatars of Miguel Alves, Carla Alves, Hugo Mendes or Frederico Pinheiro, who steal the stage from “star”, which are avatars of Maria do Céu Antunes, Pedro Nuno Santos or João Galamba.

It is clear that Galamba, Pedro Nuno Santos or Maria do Céu Antunes do not deserve the stardom of being Ministers, not least because the secondary ones are nothing more than clones of them.

This soap opera will end badly. But if the problem were only those who got to lead roles and revealed themselves to everyone’s eyes as they were after all, it would be easier to avoid the unhappy ending and save the telenovela.

THE 21st CENTURY RASTIGNAC

As Manuel de Carvalho writes today in “Público”, “we are largely left to incompetent, ill-prepared, proactive people with a lot of ambition and no sense or wisdom”.

What it is about is the seizure of power by a bunch of “Rastignacs” of the 21st Century, who, like Balzac’s original character, are ambitious, willing to do anything to accelerate their careers, upstarts who, if necessary, bite the hand of those who pulled them out of the swamp of the median.

The feeling that invades us is that whenever the accidents of political life lift a stone, what emerges is a succession of copies of an increasingly poor quality of an initial model, in which careers are, as a rule, something like this:

1. studied at ISCTE, sociology and similar things,
2. joined the Socialist Youth,
3. did post-graduate, masters, even doctorates,
4. made a career as a mayor from the parish assembly to president or deputy,
5. he soon became deputy, adviser, chief of staff, then secretary of state and even minister, but
6. he never thought it worth while to try to make a living working outside that sheltered atmosphere.

Faced with these (bad) examples, it cannot be taken lightly that many Portuguese people think that there are many more stones to be lifted and that under all of them another clone of the same model will emerge.

THE MINISTRY OF LEGENDARY IRRESPONSIBILITY

The most recent episodes have as protagonists João Galamba and a former trusted man of Pedro Nuno Santos, called Frederico Pinheiro, whom Galamba inherited, all in a ministry in which “the irresponsibility became legendary” (Manuel Carvalho dixit).

Facts, taking revenge for having been distorted, appear at the first anger of comadres.

For example,

1. it was hidden that Pedro Nuno Santos and Hugo Mendes knew everything about the departure of Alexandra Reis from the Board of TAP, and to give the staging verisimilitude and avoid dangerous mistakes, the Minister convinced his rival Medina to ask TAP to clarify what was happening it had passed and Hugo Mendes was dispatched to help prepare the appropriate response;
2. it was hidden that the former CEO of TAP had been trained by socialist deputies and members of Minister Galamba’s cabinet so that the Economy Commission on Alexandra Reis would give the answers that the Government wanted;
3. it was hidden that it was Galamba who suggested to the CEO that she ask to have this meeting.

To hide each of the facts it was necessary to start by hiding the truth, then disguising it and then lying.

Faced with the risk of falling from the pedestals to which they were raised, the obvious always happened: each one tries to screw the other to save himself, the more powerful prevails, the less powerful takes revenge and the cascade of lies, threats and rising tension to the extremes intensifies.

See, in this regard, the recent example of the instrumentalization of the SIS and the PJ. Frederico Pinheiro was either sacrificed as a scapegoat (this is what it seems to those who watch the telenovela…) or he was an ungrateful scoundrel (the director suggests behaviors that would demonstrate this).

Either way, out of disillusionment and survival instinct or out of revenge, anger, and eschatological evil, Pinheiro hinted that he would become a “kamikaze” and would go to the TAP Commission of Inquiry with a belt of grenades to blow up his former friends or accomplices.

THE CLIMAX OF THE TELENOVELA

In view of this, Pinheiro was summarily dismissed and his access to his cell phone, emails and documents was cut off, as is done to a scoundrel or a scapegoat.

Disgusted or scared (these soap operas are not simple for ordinary mortals…) he went at night to get his computer from the Ministry of Infrastructure.

Depending on the version, it was to better prepare the grenades or to defend from the “ex-friend fire”.

In this process, saypigeon fancier”, attacked colleagues, pilfered the computer, tried to break a glass door with a bicycle to leave the Ministry and put his mouth on the trombone so that the “media” knew.

But Pinheiro says he was kidnapped.

And, I say, he must have felt like a turkey on Christmas Eve.

THE GOVERNMENT IN PANIC OR REVOLT

Be that as it may, the panic or revolt of the guardians of State secrets – depending on the version – took over the Government.

So someone ordered the SIS and the PJ to go get the computer that had been stolen or stolen (don’t know…) and where nuclear weapons were kept…

Galamba hastened to reveal, in the name of transparency or as a kind of life insurance for himself (don’t know…), that this was done at the suggestion, with the connivance or by order of the Minister of Justice and the Secretary of Deputy State to the Prime Minister and – whisper some more daring ones – the SIS could not get involved in the telenovela without orders from António Costa.

MARCELO: PORTUGAL CANNOT BE A TELENOVELA!

This is the plot of the telenovela so far.

The Country, the putative successors of António Costa, the opposition, all are clinging to the screens waiting for the next episodes, which will surely be increasingly absurd, more scabrous and therefore more addictive.

The problem is that this is not a soap opera portraying an imaginary country, but it is the Government of Portugal.

I do not deny that many ministers do not deserve to be part of this scenario, but as long as it remains and they are not excluded, I do not know how to protect them, because the doubt is admissible as to whether the same thing is happening in other ministries.

Among many unbearable things in terms of the executive function of a Member State of the European Union, the greatest institutional gravity is the instrumentalization of the SIS and this having allowed itself to be instrumentalized, accepting a mission in what is nothing more than an episode in a Darwinian struggle for the survival of socialist politicians.

Surely this new fact will be covered with legal theories, new lies or euphemistics “untruths”.

All of this made the need to summarily dismiss João Galamba more than obvious, only not realizing why it took more than a few hours to be implemented.

But the problem is that with the SIS theme, the Mexican telenovela inevitably reached the heart of the Government.

I didn’t want to be in the shoes of the President of the Republic: the only institutionally correct solution he has is to dismiss the Government through the dissolution of the Assembly of the Republic. But it would not be wise.

The alternative is to use all the prestige you still have left, stop acting like Uncle Scrooge, make a solemn declaration to the Country, dismissing the Prime Minister (after leaning him against the wall) for ensure the regular functioning of democratic institutions, unless he takes the initiative to tender his resignation.

Then he must again appoint António Costa, with whom he has reached an agreement on a profound remodeling, and inform the country that if the proposed government does not give him guarantees that what I call a Mexican telenovela is over, he will dissolve the Assembly of the Republic. As it is written on the website of the Presidency of the Republic. That “corresponds, essentially, to a solution to a crisis or a governmental and parliamentary deadlock”.

Of course, António Costa can take the initiative to carry out a huge remodeling, create the position of Deputy Prime Minister and put an end to the joke of having the putative successors all around him.

Marcelo would prefer this solution, of course. It will be the option for the lesser evil.

THE PRAISE

Last Friday, the Minister of Finance announced that (i) the economy grew by 1.6% in the first quarter, compared to the last quarter of 2022, placing it at the top of the podium in the Euro Zone, (ii) inflation will have April down from 7.4% to 5.7% and (iii) continued improvement in consumer confidence and economic sentiment.

Everyone who is contributing to this deserves praise: the companies and those who work in them, the tourists who visit us and those in the Government who helped or at least did not spoil this film.

READING IS THE BEST MEDICINE

In the middle of our Mexican telenovela, I saw the book “Chronicles – 1974-2001” by Nuno Brederode Santos (National Press). It is the publication of more than 25 years of his magnificent texts in Expresso, which, when it appeared at the beginning of the pandemic, went unnoticed.

I would very much like to be able to share the conversations I had with him, at occasional lunches or in the late afternoon, to record what we owe him for the way he advised his longtime friend, Jorge Sampaio, to enhance the beauty of his writing.

But what came to mind when I saw the book in a bookstore in Porto on Saturday was a phrase: “what Nuno would say if he could now comment on what is happening to us” …

Read it and you’ll understand…

THE UNANSWERED QUESTION

Voices from the Government and PS spend time criticizing the use of competent lawyers by the State to deal with legal matters.

The Mexican telenovela reveals that they do not complain about the use of incompetent assistants and advisers.

The question is obvious: wouldn’t it be a good idea to prohibit the hiring of advisors and assistants who come from outside and use those who work in the ministries in the cabinets?

THE QUIET MADNESS

Last week I spoke here about Chega’s performance (which was similar to BE’s in the past, but the latter seem to have grown in the meantime…) and Augusto Santos Silva’s excessive reaction in the formal session with Lula.

Following that moment of indignation that seemed uncontrolled, AR TV (the Assembly of the Republic’s television channel) broadcast a conversation between the three main figures of the State in which Santos Silva (who claimed to be “cold” in self-praise) was bathed in ecstasy and joy at the achievement which confirms what I had taken for granted: the outrage was a theatrical moment.

Caught in falsehood, he did what the ministers of the “Ministry of Legendary Irresponsibility” do to advisors, he threw himself with murderous aggression at the poor journalists who work at ARTV. Didn’t do the thing for less: “flagrant violation of the most fundamental rights and freedoms of the personalities who were victims of this operation”.

Now it is known that this type of images is recorded and transmitted every year, that the recording was authorized, and that Augusto Santos Silva, “the frosty”, he made yet another scene of indignation, in this case creating scapegoats for the levity to which the euphoria led him.

Madness is not the levity of what he said to be recorded (who never made a mistake, let him cast the first stone), but the unfair creation of scapegoats.

Or, perhaps, this is no longer madness, rather a law of the PS’s nomenclature…