2023-05-28 11:55:55
- Hyunjung Kim and Kelly Ng
- in Seoul and Singapore
Yoo Seung-gyu used to lock himself in his room and wouldn’t even go out to use the bathroom as long as he didn’t see his family.
In 2019, Yoo Seung-gyu left the studio where he lived for the first time in five years.
The 30-year-old South Korean first cleaned up his “messy apartment” with his brother. He then went on a sea fishing expedition, with hermits like him whom he had met through a charity.
“It was a strange feeling to be in the sea, but at the same time it was very refreshing after the seclusion. It felt unreal, but it was definitely there. It existed,” Yoo said.
A growing number of young South Koreans are choosing to isolate themselves, withdrawing completely from a society that charges a heavy price for failing to meet expectations.
These hermits are known as hikikomoria term first coined in Japan in the 1990s to describe severe social distancing of adolescents and young adults.
In South Korea, which is struggling with the world’s lowest fertility rate and declining productivity, this has become a serious problem.
So much so that the authorities are offering young hermits who are within a certain income threshold a monthly payment to persuade them to leave their houses.
Those who are between the ages of nine and 24 and come from low-income families they can receive up to the equivalent of US$490 per month for their support.
They can also apply for subsidies for a number of services, including health, education, counseling, legal assistance, cultural activities, and even “appearance and scar correction.”
The aim of these incentives is “to enable imprisoned youth to resume their daily lives and reintegrate into society,” said South Korea’s Ministry of Gender Equality and Family.
It defines young hermits as “adolescents who have been living in a confined space for extended periods of time, disconnected from the outside world, and who have significant difficulty living a normal life.”
But throwing money at the problem won’t make it go awayaffirm the young people who have isolated themselves.
Yoo now runs a company that supports young inmates called Not Scary (He’s not scary), a far cry from the days when he wouldn’t even leave his room to use the bathroom.
But the journey to get out of his seclusion has been full of ups and downs. He first withdrew from the outside world at the age of 19, he came out of that situation for two years to do his mandatory military service, and then locked himself up again for two more years.
This is what Yoo’s room looked like two years ago, when he rarely ventured outside.
“It’s not a question of money”
Park Tae-hong, another 34-year-old former hermit, explained that self-isolation can be “comforting” for some. “When you’re trying new things, it’s exciting, but at the same time you have to deal with certain levels of fatigue and anxiety. When you’re just in your room, though, you don’t have to feel that. But it’s not good in the long run.”
Some 340,000 people between the ages of 19 and 39 in the country, or 3% of that age group, consider themselves lonely or isolatedaccording to the Korean Institute of Health and Social Affairs.
Research has also noted a growing proportion of single-person households in South Korea, which accounted for about a third of all households in 2022. At the same time, the number of people who have suffered “lonely deaths” in the country has risen.
But money, or the lack of it, it is not what is motivating these young people to isolate themselves.
“They come from a variety of economic backgrounds,” Park says. “I wonder why the government associates isolation with financial status. Not all reclusive youth struggle financially.”
“Individuals who desperately need money may be forced to adapt to society. There are just so many different cases,” he added.
Both he and Yoo, for example, received financial support from their parents when they were incarcerated.
“Culture of Shame”
What is common among young hermits is the belief that they have not met the standards of success demanded by society or their families. Some they feel like misfits because they are not pursuing conventional careerswhile others may have been criticized for poor academic performance.
Yoo said that she went to college because her father wanted her to, but he dropped out a month later.
“Going to college made me feel ashamed. Why couldn’t I be free to choose [mi propia carrera de estudios]? I felt very miserable,” he recounted. He also didn’t feel like he could talk to his parents about it.
“The ‘culture’ of shame in Korea makes it more difficult for hermits to talk about their problems,” Yoo said. “One day, I just came to the conclusion that my life was going wrong and I started to seek asylum.”
During his isolation, he didn’t even go out to use the bathroom because he didn’t want to see his family.
For Park, for his part, the peer pressure was made more difficult by a strained relationship with his family.
image source, shared photo
Park Tae Hong, a former hermit, says that economic hardship is not what forces young people to seek asylum.
“My mother and father fought frequently since I was a child. It also affected my school life. School in Korea can be very tough and I found it difficult. I wasn’t able to take care of myself,” Park expressed.
She started therapy sessions in 2018 when she was 28 and is now gradually putting her social life back together.
The expectations of a conventional society
Youth in South Korea feel ‘oppressed’ because society expects people to behave a certain way when they reach a certain age, said Kim Soo Jin, a manager at Seed:s, which also specializes in programs for hikikomori.
“When they can’t live up to these expectations, they think ‘I failed’, ‘I’m already late.’ This kind of social environment depresses their self-esteem and could ultimately isolate them from society,” he added.
Seed:s runs a physical space they’ve dubbed the “mole tunnel,” where hermits can go to rest, spend quiet time, and seek advice. Their programs are open to everyone, regardless of income.
A society where youth can find a wide variety of employment and educational opportunities it would be more welcoming to isolated individuals, Kim says.
“Young hermits want a workplace where they can think, ‘Oh, I can do this, it’s not that hard. I think I can learn more here and then get into the real world,'” he said.
Park also hopes that one day Korean society can be more understanding of young people who have interests that are unconventional.
image source, Seed:s Centre
Seed:s center activity programs are open to all.
“Currently, we just force them to study. That’s very uniform. We have to give young people the freedom to find things they like and are good at,” he said.
The living allowance could be a “first step” in tackling the problem, but those who work with youth say that money could be used better. They believe that funding organizations and programs that target isolated youth, offering them counseling or job training, would have much more impact.
“The next step should be the preparation of high-quality and free national programs for isolated youth. Currently, there are a very limited number of programs and centers where isolated youth can participate and have a sense of belonging,” said Kim Hye. Won, chief director of PIE for Youth, an organization that offers different programs for young inmates and their caregivers.
However, she is excited the south korean government is trying to deal with the problem since adolescence.
“It’s good to see that [las nuevas medidas] They focus on teenagers. I think that adolescence is the golden time to prevent isolation, because most adolescents are part of a community, such as a school. After that, it becomes very difficult to find these people.”
Yoo explained that he has gradually come out of his isolation and only after meeting other former hermits through a now non-existent rehabilitation group called K2 International.
“Once I got help from others, I started to realize that this is not just my problem but society’s problem,” he said.
“And finally I was able to slowly come out of my isolation.”
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