Throughout life, setting goals and objectives is very important to know where to direct our actions. However, this carries the risk that, for whatever reason, we will not be able to reach them, which can be very frustrating.
with everything, even fail to achieve a goal It can be a good opportunity to learn. That is what the psychologist Cristina Martínez, author of Ser Feliz es Urgente (Planeta, 2023), defends.
How to analyze a bug
To do this, he recommends “doing an in-depth analysis what you have done and the results you have obtained”. This can be carried out “by writing down what you have done well and what you think you have failed or could improve, writing down possible alternatives to the less successful behavior and preparing a plan of action that includes this alternative to achieve your goal, analyzing each step you make towards it”.
“A failure, a mistake or a mistake It may seem like a dead end street, but remember the countless success stories of people who didn’t give in to the feeling of failure and decided to learn and improve from it,” he advises.
“When you open your eyes and become truly aware of your mistakes and the things that don’t go the way you would like, you can learn from all of it and have better experiences in the future,” he adds.
Accept failure and discomfort
Martínez also stresses the importance of accepting failure and discomfort as something normal: “Accepting that failure and discomfort are necessary part of life It is a good start to begin to properly manage this emotion. Having a high tolerance for frustration makes your life less dramatic and much happier, because it allows you to face challenges that, whether we like it or not, sooner or later we are going to find ourselves”.
“That things go wrong does not necessarily lead to Low tolerance to frustration, that is, to emotional disturbance. Frustration can cause annoyance, grief, or discomfort, but they are all adaptive emotions; They provide a valuable message that you need to heed, as it will lead you to act constructively. The problem appears when the frustration awakens intense feelings of anger, despair, anguish or depression, since these emotions, far from providing significant learning, will only cause blockade and surrender. That’s when we talk about a low tolerance for frustration,” she concludes.
References
Cristina Martinez. Being happy is urgent. Planeta (2023). ISBN978-84-08-26680-8.