The Swiss are generally polite people and they like to observe social niceties such as saying hello to random strangers on the street – a fact which often surprises people from overseas.
Switzerland is also a great place to live: safe, peaceful, clean…and extremely beautiful of course.
Read also: 20 telltale signs you have gone native in Switzerland
That said, as with living anywhere, there are times when people just need to blow off some steam. But if you’ve truly decided that is enough is enough and someone needs to be given a piece of your mind, there is nothing worse than not having the correct vocabulary to express your fury.
So for those of you living in the French-speaking part of Switzerland, we’ve gathered together some of the best phrases for expressing everything from mild disappointment to eye-popping rage.
1. Boring
So let’s start gently with a relatively mild insult.
Boring is the adjective derived from the verb take a dump which is a vulgar way to say ‘to crap’ or ‘to shit’.
But despite this boring isn’t quite as offensive or distasteful as you might think.
It is frequently used in conversation to describe something as ‘really irritating’, ‘really annoying’, ‘really boring’ or in more extreme slang ‘a pain in the ass’.
For example you could say, This movie is super boring, don’t go see it. – ‘This film is super annoying, don’t go and see it.’
Or in its feminine form: I’m sick of my little sister: she’s boring! – ‘I’m sick of my little sister: she’s really irritating!’
2. Relou
In this case, that word is lourd – not in its literal sense, ‘heavy’, but rather the figurative one, used to describe a presence or situation that is ‘oppressive’, ‘irritating’, or ‘unbearable’.
Relou is used to talk about someone or something that is irritating or oppressive, but the verlan version, probably because it is less formal and more slangy, carries a little bit of extra oomph.
Relou is probably most frequently used when talking about a person whose presence or behaviour is or has become oppressive:
At first, Pierre seemed cool, but he got too sloppy.. – At first, Pierre seemed cool, but he got really annoying.
Especially when applied to a man, sucks usually refers to the sort of guy who makes bad jokes, lacks tact, and doesn’t know when their presence is unwanted… think Michael Scott from the Office (or David Brent in the UK version), seen without any sympathy.
Stop flirting with her all the time, you suck! – Stop hitting on her all the time, you’re a pain in the ass!
It can also be used to describe a disagreeable situation, much like ‘that sucks’ in English.
How is work in Lausanne going? – I only do metro, work, sleep, it sucks. – How’s the job in Lausanne going? – I do nothing but commute, work, and sleep, it sucks.
And finally, sucks can be used as a generally disparaging adjective to talk about most things or concepts:
Shut up! We’re sick of your jokes! – Shut it! We’ve had it up to here with your lame jokes!
3. Shut up!
This brings us neatly to number three on the list, which is used more directly to a person, rather than about them. If you’re using this, you’ve passed the point of trying to reason politely with someone.
The word mouth means ‘muzzle’ or ‘maw’, and is a colloquial, often pejorative way of referring to either someone’s mouth, like ‘gob’ or ‘trap’. The phrase Shut up is a shortened form of shut upmeaning ‘shut your gob’ or ‘shut your face’. Shut upthe most frequently used variation, is most often translated as ‘shut up!’, as in:
Did you see ? PSG lost again last night! – Shut up! Did you see? PSG lost again last night!- Shut up!
4. Worship
Not exactly an insult as such, but if you want to tell people that you’re really, really angry this is the way to do it.
worship is another verlan one and it’s one that you will frequently see in street demos and protests as people describe themselves as well and truly pissed off.
It’s verlan for irritatedmeaning ‘irritated’, ‘angry’, or even ‘pissed off’ – the first and last ‘é’ are combined (énervé -> vé-éner -> vénère). As in, I’m too reverent, your sister stole my boyfriend! – I’m really angry, your sister stole my man!
Or, His father was super reverent when he learned his mark in the baccalaureate. – His dad was super pissed when he found out about his grade on the bac (end of high school exam).
5. You’re pissing me off
If your neighbour has kept you awake for the third night in a row partying or arguing with his significant other, that would probably be an appropriate time for this phrase.
The literal translation of you bother me is ‘you’re shitting on me’.
But it really means ‘you’re pissing me off!’, ‘you’re bugging me!’ or ‘you’re getting on my nerves!’
You annoy me with your noise – You’re pissing me off with your noise.
6. Fake ass
Quite a specific insult this – it basically means hypocrite, so you will need to get the context right, although it can probably be safely shouted at all politicians.
The words fake asssometimes written fake assactually mean “false bottom”, or maybe “false ass”, given that cul is the vulgar French word for one’s backside. Originally, fake ass described an apparatus worn under the dress by 19th century women (sometimes called a “bustle” in English), often along with a corset, in an attempt to emphasise their curves.
Because of the use of the fake ass to misrepresent one’s appearance, it soon became a synonym for “hypocrite”, “phony” or “two-faced”. As in, This fake ass, he tells us that we have to work a lot, but he never does anything. – “That hypocrite, he tells us that you have to work hard, but he never does anything.”
Or – She had told me precisely the opposite. What a fake ass! “She told me exactly the opposite. What a phony!”
7. Raclure the bidet
Very much the nuclear option of insults, since you’re describing someone as bidet scum, so probably best to keep this one for someone you are quite definite that you will never be friends with.
But if you’d like an inventive way to put someone in their place then you might want to crack out: you’re a bitch. – ‘You bidet scum.’
8. Shit/asshole/bitch and . . . whore!
If you slightly balk at describing someone as the scrapings left at the bottom of a bidet, you could try some common or garden variety French swearing – shit (shit), slut (bitch) con or conard/conasse (asshole or dickhead – conase is used for a woman) but the daddy of all French swearing is whore.
Interestingly, although it’s usually translated into English as ‘fuck’ it’s not always a particularly strong word (although you still wouldn’t say it to your grandma).
It all depends on how it’s used. But if you’re screaming Damn fuckin’ fuckin’ shit fuckin’ asshole fucking your mom (we blush to translate, let’s just say it’s very rude) at someone, then they’ll probably get the idea that you are mildly perturbed.
But of course, it’s highly likely that when you do finally blow your stack you’ll forget all of these and only remember what you should have said much later.
It’s said that 18th century French philosopher Diderot coined the phrase because he found that it was only by walking away from the argument, literally down the stairs, that he could he think of a suitable riposte.