2023-12-18 21:01:34
EDITED – In a video published onEmmanuel I saw fit for his image to resume The phone is cryinglast Thursday, in front of everyone, with the usual condescending sauce: “I look like a loser internationally and, at the same time, I ridicule nearly 70 million French people.”
This time, he presented himself as a mediator who imposed himself on Vladimir Putin. Would Emmanuel I, king of diplomatic oddities, suddenly feel possessed of greater importance than that of the Russian president on the world stage? And that it would be a favor that he would do him to kindly deign to answer him, if Putin were to call him on the phone. If indeed the Russian president respects the non-negotiable conditions which Macron listed for him during a mind-blowing Jupiterian monologue:
“I didn’t change my number. And if President Putin has serious proposals, a desire to re-engage in dialogue which allows peace to be restored, respectful of international law, France will always remain a power which will help and which will spare no effort to obtain a result. As we did in all the years preceding the conflict, by being one of the mediating powers of the Minsk agreements, in the so-called Normandy format. And as I said for several weeks, even months, after the war broke out in February. And so if President Putin has a desire to dialogue, and serious proposals to move forward and end the conflict, and build a lasting peace, that is to say respectful of international law, and therefore of Ukrainian interests and sovereignty , I will take the call.”
This tweet did not fail to make many people react as it appears to be a pure and simple lack of diplomatic sense.
“Terrible! A pathos which touches the ridiculous even more than usual”, says a behavioral analysis specialist. “Emmanuel Macron seems doomed to repeated failures in terms of communication in an escalation of commitments commensurate with his pathological narcissism.”
Geopolitologist Caroline Galacteros, in his column “state of mind, spirit of state”, described Emmanuel Macron as “an empty form. A form full of a void which fills it and allows it to radiate pure affect with certain talent.”
In an interview for France-Soir in 2020, Chris Bickerton confirmed his analysis by adding that Macronism was an “undefined, imprecise form of politics, which does not connect properly with French society, and that it is not yet the right answer to the problems facing France.”
Rather than censoring myself, and while waiting for an improbable phone call from the Kremlin to the Elysée, I took the liberty of sharing with you this cover by Emmanuel Macron of Phone criesthe famous song by Claude François.
Here is the pitch: Emmanuel Macron (EM) calls Vladimir Putin, but it is his 6-year-old granddaughter, let’s call her Marushka Poutine (MP), who answers him and comments on her grandfather’s reactions:
E.M. : “Listen, is Grandpa near you? You have to tell him: ‘Grandpa, this is someone for you’.”
M.P. : “Oh yes ! It’s the gentleman from last time. Are you calling from asylum? Ah, from the Élysée! Okay, I’ll get it. I think he’s in the bath. But, I don’t know if he will be able to come. You know, he has big responsibilities..”
E.M. : “Tell him, please, tell him, it’s important. It’s about Joe, Albert and Ursula.”
M.P. : “Ah yes, Ursula, I think my grandpa spoke to her. She didn’t seem to like you very much, the lady.”
E.M. : “Please tell him it’s not what he thinks, ah ah ah ah ah. While Joe stuffed the ballot boxes, it was Albert Bourla who took care of Ursula.”
M.P. : “Say, did you do something to my grandpa? He always gives me big signs. And he always says to me quietly: ‘Make him think I’m not there.’”
E.M. : “Oh ! Tell him I’ve been hurting, so bad for six years-han-han. Six years that I have been president.”
M.P. : “My Grandpa, he married a very pretty lady. A real lady.
E.M. : “Oh ! Please tell him that I wanted to tell him that Ursula and Albert are good and bad at the same time. The phone cries when it doesn’t come. Worse than a requiem: the words die in the earpiece. The phone is crying, no don’t hang up. I’m so clumsy, every time. Oh, tell him, all my pain. How yes, I blame myself for my anathema.”
M.P. : “An anathema? What is an anathema? And what do you have? Why did you change your voice? But you cry! For what ?”
E.M. : “The phone cries when it doesn’t come. Worse than a requiem: the words die in the earpiece. The phone is crying, no don’t hang up. I’m so clumsy, every time.”
M.P. : “Say, listen to me.”
E.M. : “Yes the phone cries for the last time. Because tomorrow I will be at the back of a train. Say, but hold it back!”
M.P. : “But he’s leaving! “
E.M. : “So insist!”
M.P. : “He left.”
E.M. : “If he’s gone, then too bad.”
M.P. : “Good bye, sir.”
E.M. : “Goodbye little one”.
#phone #crying #remix