Mycock believes that for some, the appeal of building muscle is being “able, capable to fight, intimidating, dominant – these patriarchal ideas of what a man should be.” And Freelove admits he longs for the day people say he’s “big” not “lean” – the latter of which, to him, implies weakness. Vargas adds that there is this longstanding idea in men’s mental health that “to be a man, you suck it up, you take it on the chin, you toughen up.” It’s a concern that also ties into the reluctance of boys and men to seek treatment. “It does come down to this idea that to ask for help is to show weakness,” she tells The Independent.
Addressing the pressure of these ideas, especially in boys, is a crucial aspect of intervention. As Vargas explains: “We need to think a lot more about the messages that we’re giving boys, we need to think a lot more about the kinds of values that we’re ascribing to masculinity and the kinds of lessons that we need to give them to give them a wider idea of what it means to be a man.”
In the meantime, Mycock is reflecting on his struggles: “One important thing that I can now do is use my experience to help others,” he says. Freelove, too, sees value in discussing his story, in hope of “preventing what I went through. I want to be that person that I needed, when I was a younger person.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating, contact the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) at (800) 931-2237. For 24/7 emergency support, text “NEDA” to 741741.