We are quickly derailed when, at night, we do not sleep. Here is what Adrien thinks, the teenager of the new novel by Claudine Desmarteau, In the name of Chris : “They go far into the unknown, the night thoughts / I’m afraid / That they’ll take me too far / Fear of not knowing anymore / Where I am / Or who I am”. Adrien willingly monologues in free verse, it is also in this form that he lets us hear Chris’s voice, the voice that lulls and charms him. At night, Adrien tears himself away from his bed, takes his bike and goes into the forest, where he took refuge with his best friend before she moved. Now, in their favorite tree, he finds Chris.
Is there no one to worry about a college student’s insomnia? Of course yes. Adrien’s mother, who is raising her son alone, is concerned. He needs to take his sleeping pills, he needs to go see a new shrink. But the sleeping pills take away Adrien’s only resource that allows him to survive: his memory. As for the shrink, yes, he will go see her. Well, once in a while. To her, he will talk about Chris. And the harassment to which he is subjected. His mother will know nothing of the feeling of security that Chris gives him, nothing of what he endures in college, the humiliations suffered (insults, spitting in the mouth, obscene editing on social networks). His mother, who protected him, and now suffocates him, exasperates him, agrees to enroll him in hapkido lessons, not to be confused with aikido. Adrien learns to fight, to build muscle. It’s more effective, he thinks, than shrink talk. Which seriously wonders: “Are you the only one who hears Chris’ voice? – Me, and the animals of the forest.”
It is certain that at the beginning of the book, the existence of Chris is not self-evident. It could be an imaginary friend, a phantasmagoria born from the anguish of sleepless nights. But Chris, who we don’t know where he comes from, turns out to be a very real character. He’s not a pedophile, just a seducer. When he speaks to Adrien, his logorrhea evokes the language of a guru. It’s so sweet to hear, when you’re 14, and you feel so alone, so misunderstood. He tells her he’s different – “Otherwise you wouldn’t be here” –, that he is pure, more intelligent than everyone else, good at observing and listening (among other things). “How much they hurt you”, he, Chris, knows it. And he draws the argument to melt credulous souls: “Strength and confidence lurking deep within you / go get them.” How to resist ? How not to agree to run away in his company?
In truth, the one who really trusts Adrien’s ability to get out of it is the author. Teenage fragility holds no secrets for Claudine Desmarteau. But she lends to her heroes (we remember in particular Tear you awaypublished by Thierry-Magnier), a stubborn courage that leads them to their destination.