2023-07-27 17:36:27
Within the framework of the violence that Ecuadorians experience, we decided to delve into the cases that are exercised against men, this by their female partners, they do not realize that they suffer violence. And this theme is addressed in search of directing us towards a society of respect for the rights of the human being, without distinctions. Also, we insist that in no way is it sought to undermine the fierce struggle of women against the violence exerted by men; on the contrary, we join and recognize it. Thus, on this occasion we spoke with Patricio Guzmán, a psychotherapist at the ‘Chimborazo’ Clinic and a university professor.
At a psychological level, what causes violence against men?
A distortion of thought occurs; For example, the victim thinks that the aggression is normal. At the physiological level, tachycardia, thermal rise, muscle numbness, stress, migraine, anxiety, depression, colitis, among others, occur. At the motor level, when they enter into a crisis, they play with their hands, bite their nails, suck their fingers, among others.
Does the psychological violence exerted against the man affect his life?
Yes. It affects thinking. I remember a patient saying: ‘I’m worse than garbage; at least the garbage is recycled, I don’t’. In addition, low self-esteem, emotional crisis, difficulty in relating, especially with women. At the work level, he enters an emotional blockage, decreases attention, memory and concentration.
Have you known cases of riobambeños being violated by their female partner?
Yes. There are very few private consultations. It is not visible by our culture. Also other aspects, such as: if I denounce my partner, he will not let me see my son. Those who receive care have low self-esteem, emotional instability, they are afraid, they are afraid, they live on the negative of the past, they forget to live in the present to think about the future. It is not genetic, but transmission of information.
Why have the violent men who have come to the consultations done it?
They did not come because they accepted that they were being violated by their partners, but because of physical ailments. They say… I came to treat colitis or gastritis. I explain; When we have a crisis caused by violence, pain accumulates, and that pain causes ailments in more sensitive organs. It is an effect of a psychophysiological disorder. The percentage of those who accept is very small. I would say that out of every 100 men, two accept this difficult reality.
How can a man identify that he is being violated by his female partner?
When their decisions are not taken into account they receive aggressive looks, they are controlled (where are you? and who are you with?), they are forbidden to have coffee with friends. Also, when he receives verbal attacks with strong words. When a woman feels emotionally and intellectually inferior, she lowers the security and self-esteem of the man with psychological aggression until she equals him, and then controls him.
In the event that a man is forced to have sexual relations by his female partner, is it considered violence?
Yes. Both the man to the woman, and vice versa. It is sexual abuse. Yes there are cases. To this situation we can add the use of strong terms, such as: ‘you don’t satisfy me with that’… and this affects men and can even lead to erectile dysfunction.
What do you think of violence in general?
Violence should not be allowed; must be put to a halt. It will not stop, it will go up in tone. At first everything is fine, then the threatening looks appear, then the humiliations and strong words and then the physical aggression. It is a cycle, and it repeats itself. The first step is to accept that it is violated. In general, they do not realize it, those who do notice are their friends, acquaintances and relatives.
Tell us about a case of a man who suffered violence from his female partner
A citizen could not get a job, so he had to stay at home and do household chores. His wife went to work. It was a stable relationship. However, everything changed. The lady, when she got the money, assumed that she had the power and the attacks began… ‘You’re a keeper’, ‘you’re useless’, ‘you don’t even satisfy me in bed’…
Then the threats appeared… ‘you won’t have another woman who loves you like I do’, ‘if you do something you won’t see your children’, ‘nobody will love you’… Then the physical attacks began… pulling hair, scratching, kneeing on the genitals. He suffered for years, because the citizen thought it was normal. Eventually, she went into depression and anxiety; When evaluating it, it was concluded that it was due to the domestic violence that she received. In the end, she ended up in a divorce… It’s part of mental health: do you want to continue experiencing violence or have peace of mind?
#realize #suffer #violence