2024-08-08 02:55:39
“What should I do? I’m not happy these days.”
At 9 o’clock at night, my colleague called me out of the blue to talk about happiness. All I could do was listen.
The story was like this. To be exact, there was no story. If you look at it one by one, everything was fine. A child who was growing well, a stable job, good physical and mental health, and a financial situation without any particular problems. However, if you ask yourself, “So am I happy now?”, your heart won’t readily nod “yes.” It’s a terrible dilemma where you’re not unhappy at all, but you don’t feel happy either.
While climbing the hill in the dark and sweltering heat of the night, he heard some desperate questions on the other end of the phone. He should be happy, but why isn’t he happy? He wants to be happy, but what’s the problem? Happiness has always been a challenge for him. In the past, he had achieved it easily without even having to make any effort, but at some point, it became a difficult problem.
When I got home, I put my backpack down on my warm back. My back was soaked with sweat. “Isn’t there something called timing in life? Maybe it’s because it’s more important to push other things than myself right now.” I mumbled, saying that there are things in the world that don’t work out well with effort alone, and then I asked. Oh, have you seen the movie “Perfect Days”?
In midsummer, I feel happy when I roll and look at the colorful ripe corn. The sight of the light yellow, bright yellow, and pale white kernels lined up in a row is something I never get tired of. Rhythmic variation within consistency, irregularity within rules, impossibility within predictability. Once you recognize these things, your daily life will not easily become boring.
That’s how I feel about the life of Mr. Hiroyama, the main character of ‘Perfect Days’.
Many people called his life a “strict routine” like that of a “monk”, waking up at the same time every day, getting ready in the same order, drinking the same can of coffee, doing the same thing, eating at the same place, and returning to the same seat. Well, would Hiroyama be happiest on days when he perfectly follows the routine?
On the other hand, some interpreted that he was creating ‘perfect days’ with ‘joys from small things’ such as watering plants every morning, listening to old pop music on his way to work every day, and reading his favorite novel every night. Was he someone who secretly enjoyed pursuing ‘small happiness’ in his own world?
Quiet and reserved, he just sways for a moment like a leaf in the wind and returns with a calm smile, even when his incompetent colleague makes a fuss asking for more money, when his runaway nephew suddenly comes to ask to stay, and when unpredictable abnormalities keep intruding into his daily life. How can that be?
![To you who are not happy[소소칼럼]](https://dimg.donga.com/wps/NEWS/IMAGE/2024/08/06/126367349.1.jpeg "To you who are not happy[소소칼럼]")
There was a person who once said that every day was like a hamster wheel. I’m just a part of the company. What’s the big deal? What could there be? Every day is just the same. Yesterday is like today, and it’s the same there. What day is it today? This year is already almost over.
Normally, I would have just let it go, but that day, I felt like refuting it for no reason. “A hamster wheel? No, not every day is the same.”
How important is the ability to create something very small? I talked a lot that day. Someone must have said something to you with some kind of heart. You must have heard a single verse of music, even if you passed it by without thinking. Whether you were upset because things didn’t go well, or you were lucky and achieved something, there must have been something worth remembering today, even if it was only for 24 hours.
If you just let it go, your today will be an empty hamster wheel. Tomorrow, and the day after.
Mr. Hiroyama sits on a park bench every lunchtime, eating a convenience store sandwich, and looks at the sky. The sunlight flickers between the swaying green leaves of old trees. He takes out his old camera, takes his eyes off the viewfinder, and presses the shutter by chance. What kind of moment is he looking for?
He leaves the front door at dawn, looks up at the sky, and before starting his car, he looks at the cassette tapes, ponders for a few seconds, and chooses one. The old pop lyrics that flow as he passes through the streets of Shibuya strangely resemble his daily life. What kind of feelings were in the music that day?
As the movie continued, I thought about his mind. His daily routine seems to be extremely simple, but like colorful corn, there are countless variations within it.
The audience in the audience indirectly experiences Hiroyama’s life repeatedly, and at some point, they finally realize that his daily life is not just a repetition of trivial routines, but a detailed composition made up of important and valuable things. Why can he, the master of his own life, have red eyes and a smile on his face?
To the colleague who called me out of the blue at 9 p.m. to discuss happiness.
Happiness is not something that needs to be achieved and proven within a certain time limit. But I hope that at least you don’t end up thinking, ‘I’m unhappy because I’m not happy.’
I wonder. Did you have a time today where you put your heart into it, or a moment where your heart went. How strong was that concentration, what was important that your heart went into?
I couldn’t ask that day, but I hope these questions and thoughts will help you find happiness. The mind is like a resource, so it can definitely be used. I believe that only when you use that resource without sparing it can you achieve happiness. Like Mr. Hiroyama, who knows how to pour his heart into things he values.
[소소칼럼]It is a light-hearted piece of writing that talks about things that happen around us or about our little tastes. In order to keep the simple and affectionate feelings from disappearing from us, reporters take turns writing about small things that catch their attention.
Reporter Hong Jeong-su [email protected]
2024-08-08 02:55:39