Uncomfortable Conversations About Money: The Parent-Grandparent Battle Over Spoiling Grandkids
Welcome to Uncomfortable Conversations About Money, a new series where we will tackle topics or situations around money that well, make you uneasy. Today, we’ll be discussing the annual holiday problem of the parent-grandparent battle over spoiling the grandkids.
The Dilemma
One common issue is grandparents who buy extravagant gifts, loud and annoying toys, or simply too much stuff for their grandkids, against the wishes of the parents.
Parent’s View
As a certified financial planner and father of two young children, Andrew Herzog of Irving, Texas, emphasizes the importance of clear communication and setting guidelines for grandparents. He suggests parents communicate their preferences in advance to help grandparents select appropriate and enjoyable gifts. According to Herzog, this can help avoid overindulgence, particularly when it comes to loud and repetitive gifts like toy cars. In addition, he encourages contributions to a child’s 529 college plan as a meaningful and beneficial alternative to extravagant gifts.
Grandparent’s View
On the other hand, Chris Herzog, Andrew’s father and a doting grandfather from Dallas, Texas, acknowledges the tendency for grandparents to overindulge their grandkids with gifts. However, he realizes the negative impact of desensitizing the children due to excessive gifts, and he’s willing to make changes, including contributing to the child’s education fund.
Expert’s View
Niv Persaud, a certified financial planner, suggests establishing a gift registry or wish list for grandparents to use, incorporating the children’s input when possible. She recommends emphasizing experiences over material things and encourages the contribution to a 529 plan. Persaud also advises addressing uncomfortable conversations with respect and consideration for the grandparents’ perspective.
In conclusion, handling the parent-grandparent battle over spoiling grandkids requires open communication, setting clear guidelines, and approaching the issue with empathy and respect. It’s important to remember that both sides ultimately share the common goal of providing love and joy to the children, even if they have different ways of showing it.
Let us know what you think: how do you handle grandparents who want to spoil grandkids at the holidays?
Betty Lin-Fisher is a consumer reporter for USA TODAY. Reach her at [email protected] or follow her on X, Facebook, or Instagram @blinfisher