What can prevent a foreigner from adapting in Germany | Study and work in Germany | DW

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In Germany, there are many language courses and programs that help recently moved foreigners understand how life works in the country and how to integrate into it faster. For example, integration courses. However, mastering such a program is only the beginning of the journey. We have collected stories of people who shared their personal experiences with us.

Openness and self-improvement is the key to success

Anna moved from Chelyabinsk to Cologne in 2012. Then she was only 17 years old and she knew German very mediocre. “It was insanely difficult at the beginning,” the girl says. “I was embarrassed to speak, I tried to do it quieter so that people would not notice my mistakes in speech and accent. However, this is wrong. no one will laugh at you or treat you with disdain if you make a mistake.”

The girl says that the language barrier was completely gone only after five years, but she started making German friends much earlier, which helped her learn the language. She was educated in German and now works as a lawyer, and her social circle consists of both Russian speakers and Germans. At the same time, Anna does not see any fundamental differences in communication.

She met her Russian-speaking friend from Ukraine on one of her visits to her native Chelyabinsk. Later it turned out that the new acquaintance lives in Bonn, next to Cologne. “Probably it was fate,” Anna laughs. Another friend of the girl is a German who does not speak Russian at all, despite the fact that her young man has Russian roots. “Probably, on this basis, we agreed with her initially, and this helped me a lot to overcome the language barrier. For her part, she is interested in Russian music, she asks to learn how to pronounce certain words from songs,” says Anna.

But what about those who have just moved and do not have a single acquaintance in this country? For Anna, adaptation in Germany began with attending special courses. “At first, I went to integration courses, where there were people like me around. We were united by the desire to learn the language and adapt. It brought us closer, you didn’t feel lonely, seeing that there are other people in the same situation,” says Anna: “But after completing the courses, we don’t keep in touch, probably because everyone has successfully adapted and found their circle of friends.”

Anna believes that the main thing in the process of socialization in a new country is knowledge of the language and openness, readiness to meet new people and communicate with them. And if the first condition can be met by consuming content in German, attending courses and using special language learning apps, then the second condition simply depends on your mood. “The easiest thing you can do after moving is to go to study or work. At first it will be hard, but then you will find “your” people and learn the language,” the girl is sure.

Adults find it harder to adapt than young people

Eva is an open and expressive person. She is in her early 40s and moved to Germany from Latvia two years ago. She has a job and she knows German very well. However, this did not help her get rid of the piercing feeling of loneliness in a foreign country. As Eva herself admits, this happened to her for the first time in her life. “I speak German well, I’m always polite, I don’t joke about sensitive topics that Germans can be sensitive to. And I don’t understand why Germans are so cold. I watch stupid humorous shows and programs on German television to be “in topic”, I wash my car every week, as they do. But I still do not fit into this society,” Eva shares her experience.

She emphasizes that what she feels is not homesickness, not a language barrier, and not a complete lack of communication. The woman has a good relationship with her neighbors – they exchange gifts and sometimes go to each other’s houses to drink a glass of wine. But Eva assures that this is all “not right”: coldness is still hidden behind politeness. “I’ve been living here for the third year, and no one hugged me once – it’s just not accepted,” Eva complains, emphasizing that the point here is in the mentality.

“Why should we suddenly become friends? The Germans have school and university acquaintances from which their social circle is built. And people of my age are not looking for new friends, this is obvious,” the woman says. The only way out that the woman found at this stage was to sign up for a consultation with a psychologist. In February, she will begin therapy to help her overcome her inner crisis.

Student Experience

Artem moved to Stuttgart from Estonia, where he previously studied at the bachelor’s program. In Germany, he entered the university for a master’s program and has been living here for more than six months, combining study and work.

However, the young man’s first acquaintance with Germany happened earlier. In 2018, he came to Frankfurt for a semester under the Erasmus student exchange program. That is why this time the young man was already mentally prepared to move and knew what to expect from the country.

However, recalling his first experience, Artem admits: it was not easy. “Many factors influenced this – the fact that I was away from relatives and friends, paperwork and bureaucracy, which I was not used to. There were also problems with socialization, because I only communicated with exchange students like me, and in my circle of friends there was not a single German at that time,” says Artem.

Difficulties in adaptation

Now the guy communicates freely, but he admits that his German is still not up to such a level that he can freely discuss any topic. At the moment, he has more friends precisely among Russian speakers, but the reason is not only in the language, but also in the general cultural space. “Sometimes you start to miss not only buckwheat or kvass, but also anecdotes, jokes and memes that only compatriots will understand,” says Artem.

However, the biggest difficulty in adapting, according to Artem, is the language. Even though many Germans speak English, knowing German is essential. “The farther you move away from major cities, the more you will need German. You can “fence off” it for the first year or two, but if you moved here for a long time, sooner or later you will have to learn it,” the young man is sure .

That is why Artem is working on his language level – he watches German television, reads local media. For those who find it difficult to perceive serious topics in German, he advises starting with the consumption of children’s content, for example – with “Transmission with a Mouse” (“Die Sendung mit der Maus”).

Another difficulty is related to the pandemic. Before the mass vaccination, Artem could not fully get to know either the culture of the country or the Germans, and all his communication was limited to business contacts with teachers, classmates and work colleagues. Now the guy is catching up. “During this autumn, I visited many museums, began to participate in cultural events and began to communicate more with the Germans,” says Artem.

He recommends that you start learning the language before moving to Germany so that your level is at least A2. “Some people think that moving to Europe will save you from all life’s difficulties. However, there are also problems here, so when moving, it is important not to build illusions and be honest with yourself,” the young man advises.

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