2024-10-05 18:00:44
Sex should be something enjoyable, but it can become a source of stress and worry. Changing the way we experience our sexuality is essential to reducing this type of anxiety.
Last update: October 5, 2024
Sexual anxiety is an emotional response that manifests as worry and nervousness about sexual experiences. Fear of not measuring up, pressure to meet certain expectations, and body insecurities can make enjoying sex seem difficult.
However, you can overcome this problem with practical strategies before, during and after the event. Focusing on pleasure rather than performance, challenging misconceptions about sexuality and seeking support from a psychologist or sexologist can be key.
Why does sexual anxiety appear?
There is no single cause and each person has their own circumstances regarding whether or not they feel anxious when having intimacy. However, some factors are recognized as common or frequent among those suffering from sexual anxiety. They are as follows.
Performance concerns
Sexual performance anxiety (SPA) it affects 9 to 25% of men and 6 to 16% of women. It’s a constant worry with the thought of whether “you’ll do it right.”
Questions like “I’m doing the right thing, what if it comes at the wrong time?” They can be very strong. To the point that they prevent you from enjoying the occasion and lead you to focus only on your performance.
Insecurity about your body and appearance
Sexual anxiety often stems from physical insecurities or blocks. You may worry about how you appear or how others perceive you in the intimate encounter. Maybe you feel uncomfortable because of the pounds you think are too many, stretch marks or a scar.
Fear of not meeting expectations
You may be distressed by the idea that the other person is sizing you up. or that you are not living up to what is expected of you. You worry about whether she will be satisfied with what you do or whether she will judge you. This creates additional pressure.
Concerns about sexual desire
Discomfort can also arise from doubts about your level of sexual appetite, especially if you are a man. You may worry that you don’t feel as interested as you think you should, or that the intensity of your interest isn’t what you imagine is “normal.”
In this regard, research reveals that although heterosexual men usually have high levels of sexual desire, there is also a tendency to fake desire when it is not authentic. The behavior would seek to conform to social expectations about masculinity.
Frustration at not being able to satisfy sexual appetite
Just as a lack of desire can cause anxiety, so can an unsatisfied sexual appetite. Frustration can arise from a variety of factors, such as withdrawal due to lack of opportunities, relationship problems, or personal difficulties.
Additionally, even when having sex, you may feel anxious if you can’t reach orgasm. Or even if you don’t get aroused during the act.
General insecurity due to lack of experience
If you are having sex for the first time or have little experience, It’s normal to feel nervous. But if thoughts about performance, the anxiety of not knowing how to handle the situation, or the fear of not satisfying the other person are too much for you, overwhelmingyou may experience anticipatory sexual anxiety.
Symptoms
Anxiety about sex can be triggered by various situations, but concern is the common point in all cases. However, there are some differences in the symptoms you may experience, depending on whether you are a man or a woman.
For them some particular signs are the following:
In women the following are common:
For all genders, physical symptoms of sexual anxiety typically include:
Regarding psychological and emotional signals, one often experiences:
Recommendations for calming sexual anxiety
There are effective ways to manage this problem and reduce its impact. There are tips you can follow during sex, but it’s also important to implement some strategies before and after sex to feel more relaxed and in control.
during sexual intercourse
The most useful tips to implement while in relationships are the following:
- Take a deep breath and relax: Breathing will help you release tension and enjoy yourself more, instead of worrying about every detail.
- Accept that sex won’t always be great: Most intimate encounters have nothing to do with ideal movie scenes. It’s okay if it’s not always spectacular.
- Includes a sense of humor: Don’t take everything so seriously. Laughing at small setbacks helps reduce pressure. Furthermore, transmit This light-hearted attitude towards your partner can help create an atmosphere of trust.
- Focus on pleasure, not performance: Focus on what really matters, which is having fun and connecting with the other person. Instead of obsessing over following a rigid script, let go of expectations and let the moment flow naturally.
Outside the sexual field
Sexual anxiety is not only treated during the intimate moment, but also outside of it:
- Develop stress management techniques: meditation, awareness and regular exercise can be very helpful in reducing anxiety overall.
- Open the dialogue with your partner: Talking to your sexual partner about your concerns and expectations can make a big difference. Share feelings and listen to the feelings of others.
- Get informed and educated: Get professional information on sexuality and wellness. Reading books and articles or consuming responsible content on social networks on the topic can help you better understand your concerns and resolve them. myths about sex that fuel your anxiety.
On the other hand, if you believe your problem may be related to generalized anxiety or other emotional disorders, it is crucial to address it in a professional context. A specialized psychologist can help you discover the causes, reframe negative thoughts and develop strategies for better management.
Working with a sex therapist can also be very helpful. In this case you will be able to better understand your body and your desires, face your fears, learn to communicate and overcome sexual blocks.
When will the problem disappear?
Sexual anxiety can be very overwhelming. And the truth is, it rarely goes away immediately.
The duration and intensity vary from person to person, but it’s important to remember that there is a solution. With time and the right approach, you can notice significant improvements and enjoy a fulfilling, pressure-free sex life.
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