In recent weeks we have all been fascinated and captivated by the inconceivable media circus in the defamation lawsuit unfolding between actor Johnny Depp and his ex-wife, actress Amber Heard. For the benefit of those who lived on another planet and missed out: The Depp-Heard couple have been in an ongoing conflict for years that began with a divorce proceeding, continued to accuse Herd of violence on the part of Depp, and culminated in the defamation lawsuit in which Depp sued Herd.
In light of the ongoing media circus, the question arises – who is the real loser in this trial? Is this the glorious actor who in recent years has lost many roles due to the accusations and his good name has gone down the drain? Or is it the young actress who is now going through endless despair on the networks and is labeled as a doubtless mad woman who is doubtfully malicious, even though she may indeed have been subjected to violence by Depp? The real answer is – none of them. The real loser in this story is, well, me. Yes me. To understand why, we must first go back to the beginning:
A crazy media circus. Johnny Depp leaves court at the end of the testimony phase, this week (Photo: Getty Images)
Somewhere in May 2016 the American tabloids report that at the end of 15 months of marriage, the famous actor Johnny Depp and the young actress Amber Heard are divorcing. Not an interesting story. Divorces in Hollywood are about as interesting as a traffic jam in Ayalon in the morning. But at the end of that month, the networks are flooded with a video shot by Herd in which the famous actor is seen behaving violently. He is seen slamming kitchen doors and yelling at her, while trying to calm the situation outside the camera lens. A day after the video was released, Amber Heard applied to the court to issue a protection order against the actor as he was violent towards her. She arrives at the court with a large bruise on her face. The networks erupted. The feminists, including myself, rallied again and went out as expected in the campaign to support the victim and denounce the abuser.
Yesterday the trial itself ended and the jury convened to make a decision and decide once and for all (at least before the law) who is the victim and who is the offender. The gender bias is not coincidental: the majority assume that Depp will win and Heard will forever be remembered as a crazy woman who has degraded the career of one of the greatest actors of recent decades
Personally, I was heartbroken. Depp is an actor I really liked, he’s my childhood crush, he plays in some of my favorite movies. But I’m a good feminist and I know the offender should not be separated from his art – and just as I stopped consuming art by R. Kelly, Moshe Ivgi or any other offender, I stopped watching Johnny Depp’s films. When the #MeToo revolution came about a year after the publications, the voices against him intensified more and more. The feminist in me is happy to see him lose role after role, patron after patronage / after all he is a violent and powerful man who has perpetrated terror of violence on a young woman throughout their marriage.
Outside the Def-Hear trial. It will take years to clear all this yellow (Photo: Getty Images)
Along the way, Depp tried to defend himself, claiming he had never harmed any woman. He even sued the British Sun newspaper, after the latter called it a “women hit”. He lost and we were all glad that the victim’s voice was not silenced. The feminist in me celebrated again – the revolution worked, strong men, however they may be, can no longer silence women. But then, when Depp’s fate seemed doomed to the fate of the other Hollywood giants that fell in the #MeToo revolution, the libel lawsuit came up. The lawsuit revolves around Depp’s claim that his ex-wife has falsely accused him and is in fact the abusive party in the relationship and she is trying to ruin his life. The trial, for the benefit of those who did not watch the event, turned into a train accident from which the eyes could not be removed. Yellow as it came out in this sentence has never come out in any reality show, in any country, ever.
Throughout the trial coverage, a very clear media-social theme has emerged: Amber Heard is a liar and crazy and Johnny Depp is the real victim, period. In public trial Amber Heard lost, there is no question about that. Yesterday the trial itself ended and the jury convened to make a decision and decide once and for all (at least before the law) who is the victim and who is the offender. Yes, the gender bias is not a coincidence, the majority assume that Depp will win, and Hard will forever be remembered as the crazed woman who has degraded the career of one of the greatest actors of recent decades.
In public law she lost. Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, 2016 (Photo: Getty Images)
And after all the damage done to both sides, and even though the jury has not yet judged here or there – how in the end am I the real victim in this story? Explain: The Depp-Hardholch circus has damaged the feminist struggle, both personal and social, for many years to come. When I say I’m the real victim, I do not mean the individual gift, I mean the woman’s gift – an anonymous person. We all know the reality, we all know how much the world does not believe women who complain that they have been harmed by men. The “I believe you” protest did not just pop up – it came about because the patriarchal system is built to question the credibility of women.
We know that when a woman complains about sexual assault, or violence – chances are she is not lying. Studies show that less than 2 percent of complaints against men are false complaints, and false complaints usually occur in cases of divorce disputes. Maybe Amber Bronze is lying, really. She may also be telling the truth. But the truth has long been irrelevant. This sentence is another nail in the coffin of “believe you” protest, this sentence has made the doubt in women’s complaints more profitable than ever. How many more women in the future will call crazy people like Amber? How many men will say that what exactly happened to Johnny Depp happens to them? The trial and the circus around it take us years back, sowing seeds of fear in both men and women, reinforcing the dark belief that beautiful young women are looking for how to overthrow strong men.
Another nail in the coffin is a “believe you” protest. Supporters of Johnny Depp out of court (Photo: Getty Images)
And even if Depp does not win the lawsuit – the damage has already been done. If we thought they did not believe the women who complain to this day, wait and see what happens from now on. andNot only was I-the-certain-woman who might not believe me hurt, the activist-feminist I was hurt too. From today it is clear to us that every time we go out against a person accused of violence or harassment, they will jump in and tell us – what if she is lying? What if he’s just like Johnny Depp? If we thought we were attacked in the past – wait and see what happens from today. andNot only have I and the activist been harmed, my feminist consciousness has also been harmed. What if I doubt myself every time I want to support the victim? Am I * really * part of a system that blames men in vain? How am I supposed to feel with the joy I felt when I saw Depp’s career hurt in light of the accusations?
I can not say whether Amber Heard is the offender or Johnny Depp. I also can not say which of them is to blame that I was hurt, it no longer really matters. What is certain is that the yellow dirt thrown everywhere will have to be removed from the walls of the personal and social feminist struggle, many years ahead. Doubt is not just of the world in women. Now he is also our own.