2023-06-06 17:44:33
As you become an adult, or more adult, you notice many changes not only on a physical level but also on a social level. This can have consequences for your mental health, so we tell you more about why do friends lose and what to do to deal with it.
First of all, it is important that you know that having friends is beneficial for your health.
In fact, according to Mayo ClinicHaving friends increases the feeling that you belong to a group, reduces stress, improves your self-esteem, helps you overcome difficult events or break bad habits.
However, despite the benefits, we cannot avoid experiencing the loss of connection with a friendship at some point in our lives and this has several reasons.
Photo: iStock
Why don’t I feel good with my friends anymore?
There is no single cause of this phenomenon, however it has happened to all of us at some point and this has several factors, from our own to others. We explain:
One reason why you don’t feel good with your friends anymore may be because you are emotionally exhausted, maybe you are carrying too much load on you and thinking about sharing those problems or finding out about others that your friends have will drain you of what little energy you have left. .
Another reason may be that your friends are always in trouble. It is normal to have bad streaks from time to time, but when someone constantly lives in chaos and seeks you to be his refuge, he can end up being tired.
A bit linked to the previous point is the egocentrism or selfishness that some people may have. In other words, you may not feel comfortable with your friends because they don’t pay attention to your needs or problems and just want to focus on them.
In other cases, it may happen that you have noticed that that person is only manipulating or using you at their convenience, they are of the type of actions of “either you are with me or against me”, and despite the fact that you know that they do not do things well, they force you to validate them, which can make you feel bad and uncomfortable even with yourself.
Finally you can feel that this friendship is very demanding and needs your attention constantly, which ends up being exhausting.
Photo: iStock
How do you know if the friendship is over?
If you can identify any of the above points with your friendship situation, you should probably reconsider maintaining that relationship.
Remember that a friendship should feel like a safe and trusting place where you feel free to be yourself. And as you can see, there are many factors of the why do friends lose.
Also, if you start noticing hurtful comments or feel like they are jealous, envious, or resentful, that friendship is probably over.
Although not everything is bad, it can also happen that you feel that you have lost a friend for reasons of life. There are times when the plans or ways of being no longer fit and there is no way to change things because you can neither adapt your routine nor adapt your way of being to something that no longer has a purpose.
Photo: iStock
What to do when you feel excluded from your group of friends?
The first thing you should do is accept your emotions, understand that it is normal to feel insecurity, anger and sadness without putting a weight on yourself.
Later, once you have accepted your emotions, you should reflect without jumping to conclusions, it may be that they just had a bad moment in the group and this does not mean that they have left you aside.
However, if you have already noticed that this exclusion is more evident, it is probably worth reflecting on your actions, if there was something you did or said that might not have been liked by the group.
If you recognize or cannot see that there was a reason, it is best that you approach them to talk about what you feel and what happened. In the worst case scenario, they confirm your suspicions and you can end the relationship with those friends.
But there is also the possibility that they were not upset with you and it was just a misunderstanding or bad synchronization of agendas.
In any case, now that you know why do friends lose, it is best that you always seek to spend time with people who make you feel good and do not seek to force a friendship relationship. Not even if that friendship has been for years, the most important thing is to share your life with people who add to it.
If you are having trouble establishing or maintaining a friendship, we share this video with you.
#friends #lost