We all know that one friend or family member who is always late. Very annoying for you, but also for him or her. They can’t always do something about it themselves. We explain what’s going on.
Research American psychologist
Several studies have been conducted into why someone is structurally late. And the outcome is also different. Quest is based on a study by the American psychologist Jeff Conte. He divides people into 2 groups: polychronic and monochronic. Polychrons prefer to do several things at the same time, monochrons prefer to work on 1 task at a time and only start something new when it is 1e has been completed.
That also translates to being on time. Monochrons adhere to the so-called clock time, says the psychologist. So they always arrive on time. Polychrones are the latecomers. They keep more of an estimate of the time, he also calls it event time.
English research
People who arrive late cannot always be described as chaotic, disorganized or rude, according to an English study, where RTL News writes about. “We also need to look at the brains of the latecomers,” said English researcher Harriet Mellotte to the BBC. Another English researcher, Diana DeLonzor, explains that people who are often unable to arrive on time actually assume that they will be late. This can be the result of psychological problems such as anticipation. “Because of fear, they put off the work or the appointment so often that they don’t get it done on time,” says DeLonzor.
There are also people who are not good at estimating time. For example, how long it takes him or her to drive from home to work or how much time someone really needs to go out the door. Think of putting on shoes, putting on a coat, maybe going to the toilet and saying hello to any housemates. That has a scientific name, planning fallacy. These people just really don’t manage to estimate how long something will take.
Consequences for being late
However, notorious latecomers can in some cases arrive on time. For example, think of a plane that has to be caught and does not wait. Or in some cases also a wedding or funeral of someone special. Then it often works. According to Grace Pacie, author of a book about latecomers, this has to do with moments when it becomes confrontational. “We can be on time, if it matters. As soon as there are consequences associated with being late, such as missing a plane, we are more aware of the time,” writes Men’s Health. “As soon as those consequences disappear, we also fall more quickly into the habit of being late. This can be seen, for example, in social matters, where it is less bad to be late. That’s why some friends tend to be late at parties or get-togethers, but less so at work.”
7 types of latecomers
According to Psychology Magazine there are different types of latecomers. They name 7 different types, of which real latecomers might recognize themselves in several types. It’s about excusers, regulators, deadline surfers, hedonists, rebels, absent-minded professors and avoiders. In other words: people who always have an excuse for everything, do many things at once, plan and finish everything at the last minute, do not want to make sacrifices, do not want to comply with society’s rules, are easily distracted or afraid and have a poor self-image to have.
Tips for dealing with others who are late
There are tips for those who are easily annoyed by others who arrive late. As can be read above, it is not always something someone can do to be late. It is often unconscious and the other person does not want to waste your time. So don’t take it personally if someone is late. Also tell the person if you are bothered by being late. You can also attach consequences by agreeing to wait a certain number of minutes and then leave if the person is not there.
What can also work well is to compliment the person if they manage to be on time. And also be patient. If someone wants to change behavior, it takes time. If it really doesn’t work out, you can also cheat with the starting time. Suppose someone is 15 minutes late by default, agree that time earlier. This way you don’t have to wait unnecessarily long and the other person is ‘on time’.
(Source: Quest, RTL Nieuws, Men’s Health, Psychologie Magazine. Photo: Shutterstock)