A few days ago, a clip of Zakir Khan went viral on social media. In this he was explaining why it happens that we go to someone’s funeral and after some time we see people laughing and talking normally among themselves.
Explaining the logic behind this, Zakir had said that when you are in so much grief that it is difficult to bear, the brain is unable to process it. Because of this the opposite reaction of crying occurs. This statement of Zakir is not just airing. In fact, science also fully supports it.
You too must have found such people around you at one time or the other, who crack jokes or laugh and smile even in times of sorrow. They do not do this with the intention of hurting anyone’s sentiments, rather it just happens. (All pictures are indicative)
It’s not the heart, it’s the brain.
Someone’s death is such a big shock that not everyone is able to bear it. Some go into depression, some start having anxiety attacks, while for some it takes the form of trauma. The most common reaction is crying and silence.
At the same time, some people give the opposite reaction. He laughs, sometimes smiles, talks to others normally about life. In short, everything that is the opposite of sad emotions. This is the brain’s way of downregulating i.e. reducing intense emotions.
When the situation gets out of control
Talking about this in an interview with Weekly Health and Science Podcast The Pulse, Yale University psychology professor Margaret Clark explained, ‘This adverse reaction of a person is the brain’s way of regulating emotions.
When we feel very intense emotions and there is a lot of energy flowing inside us, then a reaction comes out which may not be appropriate according to that situation.
‘The brain suppresses the initial emotion that it is unable to handle. This is the reason why many times people cry in positive situations, whereas in sadness they start laughing.
It is important to understand dimorphic expressions
According to the study, when the brain feels that emotions have reached a level where it cannot handle them, then dimorphic expressions come to the fore. In such a situation, the people around the person need to be more sensitive and understand his situation.
That is, even if there is an atmosphere of sadness, someone’s heart is broken, someone has faced failure, and a person is seen laughing loudly, then it does not mean that he is happy, but it means that he can handle the sadness. Can’t find it. Hug him and try to calm him down.
Keep a check on any extreme emotions, seek expert help
If a relative is showing extreme emotions after grief or heartbreak and is not seen behaving normally even after several days, then do not hesitate in seeking expert help. Many times people even take terrible steps, for which it is necessary to stop such thoughts in time. And in this only experts are able to provide the right help and treatment.
Interview between the Time.news Editor (Alex) and Dr. Riya Malhotra, Psychologist and Behavioral Scientist
Alex: Welcome, Dr. Malhotra! Thank you for joining us today. There’s been quite a buzz on social media surrounding a recent clip of Zakir Khan. He discussed an interesting phenomenon—people laughing and chatting normally at funerals despite the profound sadness of the occasion. What’s your take on this?
Dr. Malhotra: Thank you for having me, Alex! It’s a fascinating topic. Zakir’s insights align with psychological and neurological research. When faced with overwhelming grief, the brain may react in unexpected ways. Instead of breaking down into tears, some individuals may laugh as a coping mechanism.
Alex: That’s intriguing. Can you elaborate on how the brain processes grief and why laughter might emerge in such situations?
Dr. Malhotra: Certainly! When we experience intense emotions like grief, it can flood the brain with stress hormones. This overwhelming state makes it difficult for the brain to process the situation. In some cases, the brain resorts to humor or light-heartedness as a defense mechanism, inadvertently providing a momentary escape from the sorrow. It’s a form of emotional regulation.
Alex: So, this sort of laughter is not a sign of insensitivity?
Dr. Malhotra: Exactly. It’s essential to understand that this behavior isn’t meant to offend. In fact, for many, it’s a natural response to manage the paradox of grief. While some may cry, others might find laughter to be their way of coping with the stress. It’s about creating a balance in overwhelming situations.
Alex: What happens when this emotional response to grief becomes too extreme, perhaps leading to trauma or anxiety?
Dr. Malhotra: Great question. When grief is so intense that an individual cannot process it, it can manifest as anxiety or even post-traumatic stress. Some people might experience prolonged feelings of sadness or detachment. It’s crucial for those showing extreme signs of grief to seek support—whether through therapy or support groups—to help them navigate these complexities.
Alex: That brings us to an important point—how can people better support others who may be expressing their grief in unconventional ways?
Dr. Malhotra: The key is empathy and understanding. Instead of rushing to judgment, it’s best to create a safe space for open dialogue. People should feel free to express their feelings, whether that’s through humor, tears, or silence. If you notice someone laughing inappropriately, rather than feeling uncomfortable, it might help to gently check in with them or offer them a listening ear later on.
Alex: That’s very insightful. As we wrap up, do you have any advice for our readers on how to manage their own grief or support someone else going through it?
Dr. Malhotra: Absolutely! First, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings and let yourself grieve in your way—whether that’s through laughter, tears, or even storytelling. If you’re supporting someone else, be patient and remember that everyone’s process is unique. Encourage open communication, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help for either yourself or your loved ones if needed.
Alex: Thank you so much, Dr. Malhotra. This conversation sheds light on an essential aspect of human behavior that’s not often discussed. We appreciate your insights.
Dr. Malhotra: Thank you for having me, Alex! It’s been a pleasure to discuss such an important topic.
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[End of Interview]