2024-07-13 07:44:11
Through forensic looking and listening, you discover clues to unravel the hidden narrative of others
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You have a new job, you have to work with a new team at the old one or you have been promoted and you will be in a management meeting for the first time. It will be very useful for you to know what kind of company you have ended up with.
Your chances of success depend not only on professional knowledge, skills, experience, but also on the ability to look around and to recognize something called the power dynamic in the room. This can give you important information and an advantage. You should behave in one way if you are in an “ice” room, in another – if you are in a “warm” one.
Forensic looking and listening will help. It means finding clues and using them to unravel the hidden story.
Chip Massey, a former FBI agent hostage negotiator, and Adele Gambardella, an expert in crisis communications, point to specific tactics. They divide by four what to observe: emotions, postures, voice, choice of topics and words.
You enter for the first time a meeting with the management team of the company you work for. As usual, you are there about 5 minutes before the appointed time. The biggest boss hasn’t arrived yet, but the others are already gathering.
Look for a display of emotion. How people feel – important, empowered, disengaged, excited, discouraged? Are they talking? More muted, livelier? Do you hear laughter?
Label what you seesays Adele Gambardella.
“Once people are divided into groups, there’s something that causes division. It’s no coincidence that they talk to each other in hushed tones. They have things they don’t want to share with others,” explains Chip Massey.
Pay attention to how they react to each other and to you.
Search the balance of power in the room. Is there a certain alpha person in the group? Does the others seem to appreciate and accept him or resent his leadership?
This power dynamics reading will give you insights into the atmosphere and relationships that will allow you to correctly determine your behavior.
Postures and body language enter into non-verbal communication. Read the others, looking around at who is positioned how in relation to the boss, in relation to you, in relation to others. Does it sit straight or slouch to the side? Is he looking around, scribbling, or concentrating on the conversation?
The tone also suggests a lot because it depends on the emotions. Look for changes in tone and you will understand what the person is feeling.
“People leave a lot of clues, get better at reading body language and voice. You’ll have an advantage because most others don’t read it. They listen to respond. They don’t pay attention to what emotions their interlocutors are giving off,” says Gambardella.
Particular attention is required to topics and word choice.
At a meeting the big boss sets the topics, but notice how the others pick them up: talk profusely or rush to beat.
This tells you what is important to the speaker. Someone emphasizes his contribution, another quickly tries to transfer to a different topic, because he is not ready for this one. A certain topic may be avoided by everyone as uncomfortable or repetitive.
“It’s important when and how people stop talking, what they emphasize, what their tone communicates. By deconstructing these aspects, you can to uncover the untold narrativeMassey claimed.
Pay attention to words that are repeated. Choice of words reveals thoughts. Don’t miss if someone parrots someone else’s words. Do your coworkers tell your boss what he wants to hear, or do they seem to say what’s on their mind?
Listen for use of professional terms, which may not be understandable to everyone in the room, jargon or modern words. They show that the person is trying to demonstrate their awareness or to hide the fact that they have nothing of substance to add.
People have speech patterns. Pay attention to the pitch and tone of their voice. Is it going up or down? Is their speech fast or cautious? Do they speak loudly or quietly?
If you know the person from before, you can identify a baseline – their usual behavior – and notice differences. Let’s say that he communicates with his boss and other managers at his level in a different way (submissive) compared to the way he behaves with his subordinates (subordinate). This reveals character traits his. You’ll need to keep them in mind as you work together.
Naturally, pay the greatest attention to the most important – the boss. Watch and listen to this person in as many contexts as possible to get to know them. Notice how he treats you, everyone in the meeting. It is not difficult to guess who he values, who is his favorite, who he despises or cannot stand.
With an eye for detail you may discover regularities in behavior – for example, that your boss doesn’t like to be offered new ideas in the morning, but is more receptive to them later in the day. Or that in meetings before noon he tolerates opinions different from his own, and in the afternoon he becomes irritable and intransigent.
You can get useful information after one meeting, but do not rush to definite conclusions. Better to take notes in meetings for a few weeks and think about them, Gambardella and Massi recommend.
—– Take the temperature yourself
Whether it’s a team meeting where you work, a management meeting or a meeting with partners, it is prudent to go early to take time to look around, listen and communicate.
“To read the power dynamics, before every meeting go around the room and make contact, to see who is “where”. Where does the power seem to form? Who and what are people focused on? That’s how you unfold the picture of what’s going on in that room,” explains Messi.
In more personal communication, you can also “read between the lines” – for a discrepancy between what someone is thinking and what they are telling you. It’s not that your colleagues want to hide something or are hypocrites. “We’re all trained to be diplomats at different levels, depending on our personality traits,” says the former FBI agent.
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